scariest thing i've seen today!

the driver is 16, the passenger is 17, the odometer says 60 mph, and they are on the highway.

*spasm*

can ya still call social services when the kid is over 18?

last weekend, i decided to watch Brooke Knows Best. i had never seen the show but i found myself watching it this weekend because it came on, i was lying on the couch, and the remote was in the kitchen.

taking all of those facts into account, i quickly deduced that watching the show didn't sound as undesirable as getting up and walking across the room. i would imagine that the Hogans have laziness to thank for much of the show's ratings.

so, lucky lucky me, i happened to see the episode in which Hulk Hogan introduced his daughter to his new girlfriend. because, ya see, Hulk and Linda have separated and hooked up with new people. Linda, much to the irritation of Hulk and Brooke, has been jumping up and down on a 19 year old boy who went to high school with Brooke.

but at no time at all during this episode did anyone blink, give a double take, or openly retch at the fact that the Hulk is basically effing his daughter.


Hulk and Brooke, Hulk and Jennifer....er, wait. wait. meh, i dunno.

listen i can totally empathize with Brooke's feelings. it cannot be easy to watch your mom have an affair with someone not even of legal age while living in the house you spent much of your childhood. but for the life of me, i cannot understand why NO ONE is pointing out how wrong this situation right here is!


"i have no idea why people say we look alike!" "who put this talking mirror beside me!!"

during this episode, Hulk invited Brooke and Jennifer out to dinner to introduce them, telling them repeatedly how much they had in common! Jennifer works for Delta, Brooke flies Delta (Continental, she answers dryly), Jennifer love the sun, Brooke loves the Sun, Jennifer loves the outdoors, Brooke loves the outdoors...

the hair on my neck was standing up waiting for the "Jennifer looks like Brooke, Brooke looks like Jennifer, Jennifer looks at my dick...."

no, my mind cannot complete the sentence.

so, i don't know, in my opinion having sex with a girl who looks like your kid is WAY worse than having sex with someone else's 19 year old kid. but here' s something to consider:

is it possible, Jennifer, that Hulk is with you because you look like a younger version of Linda?

i bet that pisses her off more than looking like Brooke.

Good Idea [bad ideas]

most youngsters like to do things that push the envelope with society and especially with their parents. i for one didn't stop pushing until i'd gotten my nose pierced. but that was two tattoos and 4 piercings later.

when i got my navel pierced, i remember asking the heavily tattooed and studded piercer "is this going to hurt?" and she lied through her lip ring and said "no, not at all."

in hindsight....and hindsight came 2 seconds after she stuck me with the needle....i realized that you cannot take the advice from someone who clearly has an entirely different pain threshold than you do.

which brings me to this little chickadee right here.


behold Kimberley Vlaeminck, an 18 year-old Belgian teen who went to a parlor with the intention of getting three wittle bitty stars on her face.

actually, what had happened was...

"I wanted him to tattoo on just three little points but he suggested three stars, saying it would look prettier. When he started the tattooing I didn't want to feel the pain and so I went to sleep. I had got up at five in the morning."

and what to her wondering eyes did appear?

56 black stars.

now i must admit, she had me when she said she fell asleep and slept through the entire process. that's as mystical and unbelievable as when women say they had painless labor. and by that i mean, "that heffa is lying." can someone please let her know there's a difference between"falling asleep" and "passing out?"

what makes this even more unbelievable is the fact that she chose to close her eyes on this guy right here:



yes, THIS is the tattooist. a perfect study in moderation, am i right?

and he says the girl never "fell asleep" and knew exactly how many stars he'd put on her head and face.

well, of course she did.

but that doesn't change the fact that no one should go to this guy for tattoos or piercings if they're hoping for a cute little sketch of tinkerbell on their ankle, let alone 3 little points, whatever the hell that even means.

i think the lawsuit should be dismissed solely on the fact that the thing she needs the most [COMMON SENSE] is not something she can be awarded in court.

next.

what does joblessness look like in your city?

here's what it looks like in mine.



Hundreds line up for 1,014 new Charlotte jobs

Charlotte's beleaguered financial sector got a dose of good news -- 1,014 new jobs in a business helping borrowers with troubled mortgages. (Source)