one of these things is not like the others

i took my girls out to visit with two friends this afternoon to enjoy the warm weather and relax a bit. during the visit, one of my friends took Trixie with her to an ice cream parlor while i allowed Dixie the opportunity to walk around and show everyone her pretty face.

when i made my way back to our table with her, a man came over and said "excuse me. that baby is so pretty. she is really really pretty! what's her nationality?"

to which i responded "she's american." because i mean, really? nationality? what the fuck?

but instead of backing off, he pressed on: "no, i mean i know that." and then, while looking at my friend who is biracial, he asked her another question to which she responded "those aren't my kids. they are her kids."

he looked back at me, made this face:

:O

and said "they're YOUR kids?? REALLY?!"

the only thing missing from his response was the follow-up question of "now, how in the hell did your black ass do that?"

i recently read a book called Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together, in which Dr. Beverly Tatus discussed how race is treated as a topic and social construct in our society. In one section of the book, she recounts how her then 3 year old son asked her why a little girl in his pre-school class "didn't match" her mother. Dr. Tatum gave her son a thoughtful answer to why the child, clearly biracial, looked different than her mother. i was really impressed with how, rather than shy away from the issue of race and appearance, she met the topic head-on and didn't give him the impression that talking about race and something that must be avoided or whispered about.

but the idea that I'M that mother and my children and i are going to be answering these questions makes me feel weary.

so during the interaction, i didn't clock out, go crazy, or get mean or angry. i was just taken aback by the assumption that was made based on my appearance and that of my kids as well as what he amazed response really meant in regards to his notions of race and color.

i'm sure this is only the beginning of the many, many questions yet to come. should be fun...