a little ditty about Carlos Estevez

life's funny, am i right?

just when you're pretty sure you know the rules of the game, of what does and doesn't make a person a piece of shit, here comes a curve ball.

to recap: Chris Brown beats the shit outta Rihanna and we're still talking about it as late as last month.

Charlie Sheen pulls a freakin knife on his wife and is arrested on 2 felonies and...well....let's just say the clamor for the spill of his blood is muted. and this is after allegations of physical abuse against his previous wife and an "accidental" shooting of then fiance Kelly Preston in 1990.

where you at, Oprah?

 

i asked myself why there was this difference in reaction earlier today, but i already know the answer.

and that answer is getting really really really old.

well, i guess i could put it all in perspective. maybe the media isn't talking about Carlos and his switchblade (how stereotypical) because they have other things to talk about?

yeah....i'm giving the media way too much credit.

i said it yesterday and i'll say it again: it pays to be a Sheen, man. you can just keep on being crazy until you finally kill a woman.

Chris Brown is totally changing his same to Critian Estevez in 2010!

Same as it ever was.....

stop me if you've heard this one:

the US government is given warnings and credible information regarding the movements and extremist ideology of an Al Qaeda operative, who is determined to carry out a terrorist attack against this country on a airplane.

and then the government didn't do anything about the information.

and then the Al Qaeda operative attacks a plane in the United States.

now for the punchline: no, i'm not talking about 2001. i'm talking about now.

thanks for proving to me that it doesN't matter which jackass has the job, i'm probably still not that safe.

I'M TALKING TO YOU, NAPOLITANO CIA!

WTF, Yahoo Buzz!

i happen to use Kosmix as my homepage on my home computer. while i'm not that excited about it as a start screen, i usually give it a glance in the 3 second space between opening my browsing and going to Gmail.

at the top of my page, i have about 4 tabs from different news sources. the first tab is news from Yahoo Buzz. and in addition to a quick blurb about a story, i am allowed the chance to read the last comment left by Yahoo readers on the site.

without fail, those comments are ALWAYS offensive. i'm beginning to wonder if perhpas they should change their name to Yahoo Buzz: a Subsidiary of Stormfront. not only are the comments offensive but often they are stupid as hell.

i checked Buzz Heil today and was met with the usual.

it really makes me curious: do they just sit around all day looking for stories online to post outlandish comments to? have they no lives? have they no jobs?

well, i don't need to read this crap. today is officially my last day as a Kosmix user. i'm gonna leave these Yahoo Buzz Bastids to themselves.

i hope they choke on the vitriol.

I wonder if the Jersey Shore kids get it.

meh, probably not....and that's an abobinal-snowman-nation!

Bobby Bottleservice - Jersey Shore Audition Tape - watch more funny videos

Drag Her to Hell.

i'm making a conscious decision.

i am aware that the media has been forcing the Bad Black Mother stories down our throats, per usual, and this is yet another example of a black woman behaving badly.

i am aware that horrible things happen to innocent children every day.

yet, i've decided to tell this story anyway. Why? because this bitch is crazy and somebody needs to lock her away in a tiny room by herself for a very loooooooong, looooooooooong time.

New York (CNN) -- Prosecutors in Brooklyn have charged a 38-year-old woman with tricking a pregnant woman into taking an abortion-inducing drug because the suspect thought her husband had fathered the child with the other woman.

And after the baby was born two months premature, but survived, someone tried unsuccessfully to slip a toxic substance through hospital security to the infant in the guise of milk for the baby, according to prosecutors.

The suspect, Kisha Jones, allegedly went to great lengths to end the pregnancy of 25-year-old Monique Hunter, according to a complaint filed by the Brooklyn district attorney's office in an ongoing investigation that began over a month ago.

Jones is in jail facing multiple charges, including attempted abortion and assault, according to authorities.

my anger with Sheniya Davis' mother is still sitting like a burning rock in my chest, now this heffa over here is trying to murder a baby because she thought her "man" was the father. luckily, despite her best efforts, the child has not been killed.

now, happily, she's going to end up going to prison where there are no damn men.

fitting.

some of us women need to get ourself under control and quit acting like dick-crazed lunatics whose end all be all is some worthless dude who is more interested in his ho-shit than being a good man.

....in my loudly expressed opinion.

between women selling their kids into sexual slavery, allowing their children to be molested and raped by known perpetrators, taking sides with men over their kids when accusations fly, acting like victims when it comes out that the married men (with children) they've been sleeping with have hoes in different area codes....i'm just over it all right now.

ladies, we have got to do better.

Public Service Announcement

i've had it. i have had it with poeple doing crazy shit trying to be edgy. so today, i'm taking it upon myself to institute a new rule! i hereby decree that as of today, beautiful people are not allowed to get their faces tattooed anymore. if you are Merkin, and it is not part of your majority- or sub-culture to tattoo your face, then back away from the ink!

some classic examples of beauty gone wrong?

Danger....C'mon, Danger! why in the hell did you get a tiger on your face?! You're lucky your VH1 nickname wasn't Olde English.

Devante, this is no okay! aside from the scribble on your temple, your face is a screaming testament to the ills of cheap drugs and fast women. nigro, how OLD are you now? how did you manage to age 7 years to every 1 year in everyone else's life!

you were hotness, Devante. and i was in love with you from 1992 until roughly 1996. i even overlooked Dalvin looking like a malnurished skeevy version of you.

Mike Tyson?
you are GOOD. get as many tattoos on your face as you want. no loss. believe me.

but you DEFINITELY went too far, Little Six Hair Baby. too far...

He deserved a break.

Another sad passing was reported today in the Lexington Herald-Leader....the guy who we can all thank for Ronald McDonald went on to the big golden arches in the sky.

Michael Polakovs, best known as a clown named Coco and developer of Ronald McDonald, died Sunday in Ashland, KY. He was 86. His greatest fame came as the developer of Ronald McDonald, the clown face of McDonald's corporation. He designed the outfit and makeup that is worn by the character to this day.

Thanks to the clowntastic genius of Mr. Polakovs, people in my generation can remember with fondness the locally produced commericals in the 70s of Ronald McDonald's hit song "Friends."

And current generations can alternately gawk and/or shudder at the site of Ronald's daughter and son:





you'll be missed, Mr. Polakovs. but your creation's many, many....many reiterations will stay with us for decades to come.

Sad day in the world of Hokey Pokey

today in the Lexington Herald Leader, there was sad news of the passing of a musical giant:

Robert Degen, who copyrighted the song The Hokey Pokey Dance in 1944, died in Lexington, on Nov. 23, his 104th birthday. In the New York Times report on Degen's death, the authorship of "You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out," and on and on, is in question. The credit usually goes to Larry LaPrise and the musical group the Ram Trio. It is said that the song was created in Sun Valley, Idaho, as a novelty number to entertain vacationing skiers. The group recorded it in the late 1940s. Degen claimed that LaPrise had stolen the song from him.

the very next time this song comes on The Backyardigans, i'm going to grab a sippy cup and pour a little out for the homey.