I forwarded this to you and to him, asking you to forward to them because i am a good manager!

i can't be trusted to forward a forwarded email so my boss forwards the email to our boss to make sure it gets forwarded correctly. got it?

From: Boss Numba2

Sent: Friday, February 27, 2009

To: Worker B

Cc:Boss Numba1

Subject: Some Damn Jibbahjabbah

Importance: High

Worker B:

Please send to volunteers.

Thanks,

Boss Numba2

But it's the GOOD Type of Cholesterol, right??

i reckon calling it Death in Hell Juice, while honest, wouldn't have done much to help move the product off the shelves? well DONE, armour!!

Let's Throw a Ticker Tape Parade in Honor of the Weave!

when did they start making weaves out of kevlar?

Speeding Bullet Stopped by Hair Weave

KANSAS CITY, Mo., Feb. 19 (UPI) -- Police in Kansas City, Mo., said a woman's tight hair weave stopped a bullet, rescuing her from injury and likely saving her life.
Officers said they arrived at the Country View Market at about 11:30 p.m. Wednesday to find the woman's boyfriend had allegedly shot out the back window of a car, KSHB-TV, Kansas City, reported Thursday.
Investigators said the woman wasn't injured after her hair weave stopped the bullet and her boyfriend was taken into custody.

chick had Super Weave by Jorel Industries. i bet this stuff is flying off the shelves at the local dollar general store!

i once had a bad hair weave attached to my poor little scalp by that demon spit known as weave glue. and while i was convinced that i could swing my head a certain way and use the yaki locks as some type of kung fu weapon of extreme defense, i had no idea that little piece of dog hair coulda saved my LIFE!

let this be a lesson to those of us who turn our noses up at our sisters in weaves. what's protecting YOUR scalp?

I Know, it's Hard to Believe!

but i have nothing to say. and haven't had anything to say for the last few days. as you were...

Everyone's a Critic

after a fun filled morning of playing, running, shits and giggles, i collapsed onto my couch with my legs splayed out. exhausted, because we started our day this morning at 530 am, per usual, i sat there looking down at the smiling faces of my girls. and my dear sweet angels, as payment for my love, attention and affection, reached out with their sweet little hands....and grabbed the roll that once was a flat toned stomach.

maybe they were wondering how things were going in their old room?

time to look up some 10 minute abs workouts on youtube.

For THIS, I almost got Dooced!

Dooced (doost) : To be fired for "objectionable posts" on a website.

today at work i navigated over to a local radio stations website to listen to the station while working when my boss walked in, took a look over my shoulder, and asked "WHAT are you LOOKING at???"

the website had on its homepage a picture of one of their on-air morning personalities, starkers but for a valentine.

THIS is what he saw.

now, if my boss had walked in earlier this week when i was purposefully looking at pictures of Jesus Luz, then i'd go ahead and take one for the team.

but the fact of the matter is....i almost got dooced over an ugly dude, man.

ROCK, MEET BOTTOM!

This Moment in a Baby's Mind.

"...i smell sex and candy!"

Love is In the Air.

with valentine's day quickly approaching, nothing speaks to the heart and mind of a woman as eloquently as the mind-numbingly romantic stylings of The Continental.

Telly Sevalas Doesn't Even Say it Anymore!!!

phone conversation:

Boss: I need to you to compile a report outlining the data gathered from the survey i asked you to create.

Worker: ok.

Boss: and i need the information by 4:00 pm

Worker: ok.

Boss: oh, and [redacted]?......who loves you baby?

Worker: (silence)....CLICK!

Happy Birthday, Bruh!

happy birthday, abraham lincoln! wow! two hundred years old. you really look good...well, you know, i mean your image and memory have really really held up well over the years.

when i was small, i had an animated book about about great you were. it talked about how you lived in a log cabin as a child, about how you had a learning disability but overcame it, and about how you grew to become a great orator and statesman. and after doing a bit of research in college, i stumbled across one of your speeches that really, really moved me:

"I will say, then, that I AM NOT NOR HAVE EVER BEEN in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the black and white races---that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of Negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with White people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the White and black races which will ever FORBID the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together, there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I, as much as any other man, am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the White race."— 4th Lincoln-Douglas debate, September 18th, 1858; COLLECTED WORKS Vol. 3, pp. 145-146

and this!

"What I would most desire would be the separation of the white and black races."— Spoken at Springfield, Illinois on July 17th, 1858; from ABRAHAM LINCOLN: COMPLETE WORKS, 1894, Vol. 1, page 273

and don't forget this!!

"Why should the people of your race be colonized, and where? Why should they leave this country? This is, perhaps, the first question for proper consideration. You and we are different races. We have between us a broader difference than exists between almost any other two races. Whether it is right or wrong I need not discuss, but this physical difference is a great disadvantage to us both, as I think your race suffer very greatly, many of them by living among us, while ours suffer from your presence. In a word, we suffer on each side. If this be admitted, it affords a reason at least why we should be separated. It is better for both, therefore, to be separated."— Spoken at the White House to a group of black community leaders, August 14th, 1862, from COLLECTED WORKS OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN, Vol 5, page 371

oh, yooooooooooooooou! you were truly a great man of words.

that's what's makes, to me, Obama's use of your bible all the more poignant for me and many of the people i know! and the idea of him giving his speech under the watchful (outraged?) gaze of your memorial statue.

so happy birthday and thanks, Great Emancipator. we really couldn't have done it without you!

That Pleasant Smile Holds it All Together.

one of the best things about AMC has got to be the tv show Mad Men. it focuses on the lives and careers of men and women working in an ad agency during that late 50s/early 60s. while i was immediately sucked in by the storylines, the one thing that always caused me to cringe - repeatedly - was the blatant sexism. the things which happen to the women in this show at the hands of bosses, lovers, and husbands is horrifying in it's matter-of-fact brutality. It's not enough that your husband calls your psychiatrist to find out what you've been talking about during your sessions? that's okay; how about he cheat on you with everything in a skirt in the meantime?

your boss stringing you along with lies that he's going to leave his wife starting to get under your skin? no problem! how about your brand new fiance rapes you on your bosses floor and then asks you to freshen up before dinner?

no, this show is not simply a study in the nightmare that was american society prior to sexual harassment training and feminism thumped it into everyones heads that you can't get away with this shit. and don't get me wrong: the men are interesting and complex as well. but for me, the show is about the women. while it may be called Mad Men, anyone who's watched the show can tell you it's the women who are REALLY pissed.

in The Times, there is an outstanding piece called Mad Men: the real Mad women on women who really worked in advertising agencies during this same time frame. and while the stories are peppered with anecdotes of blatant male on female bastardness that are (please, God?) unheard of for the most part in today's workplace, there were also some bits that amazed me in terms of how women related to one another on the job.

Per Charlotte Beers:

“I remember a colleague doing a devastating impression of me,” she says. “I went to see her afterwards and said I'm not leaving your office until we work out how to present a united front to the men. She roared with laughter and took me to lunch. I didn't go back to the office that day.”

now, here's a really interesting concept. facing workplace caca head-on instead of allowing the men to step back and enjoy the catfight. I don't think I've ever had a job where the women haven't been more than willing to throw each other under the bus to curry preceived favor from the manager. and while i get that for some, that's called being competitive in the workplace, i also know women are much more inclined to use bullying tactics to freeze a colleague out when feeling threatened.

the one thing i really admire about the women in this article is that they understood to what degree they needed the men in the workplace and they figured out how to use them and/or work around them to reach career success.

SOMETIMES IN A MINI-SKIRT!

remember that the next time you want to call in because you have cramps, candy-ass!

Now You Done Made Me Mad!

octomom, she of the "no income, except for the non-welfare welfare she receives, but who totally plans on temporarily supporting her kids via student loans because everyone knows a woman with 14 kids has SCADS of time to get a degree" fame has now taken her crazyshow to the next level:

behold: Octomom Pimpin.

the sight of those kids struggling to survive while she shills for cash is what really makes me want to get her ass kicked. can someone PLEASE give chris brown her number and address?

How Dreadful.

don't you hate it when your meal sucks?

Sales: You're Doing it Wrong!

talk to your manager about work related angst: he's here to help.

one of these things is not like the others

i took my girls out to visit with two friends this afternoon to enjoy the warm weather and relax a bit. during the visit, one of my friends took Trixie with her to an ice cream parlor while i allowed Dixie the opportunity to walk around and show everyone her pretty face.

when i made my way back to our table with her, a man came over and said "excuse me. that baby is so pretty. she is really really pretty! what's her nationality?"

to which i responded "she's american." because i mean, really? nationality? what the fuck?

but instead of backing off, he pressed on: "no, i mean i know that." and then, while looking at my friend who is biracial, he asked her another question to which she responded "those aren't my kids. they are her kids."

he looked back at me, made this face:

:O

and said "they're YOUR kids?? REALLY?!"

the only thing missing from his response was the follow-up question of "now, how in the hell did your black ass do that?"

i recently read a book called Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together, in which Dr. Beverly Tatus discussed how race is treated as a topic and social construct in our society. In one section of the book, she recounts how her then 3 year old son asked her why a little girl in his pre-school class "didn't match" her mother. Dr. Tatum gave her son a thoughtful answer to why the child, clearly biracial, looked different than her mother. i was really impressed with how, rather than shy away from the issue of race and appearance, she met the topic head-on and didn't give him the impression that talking about race and something that must be avoided or whispered about.

but the idea that I'M that mother and my children and i are going to be answering these questions makes me feel weary.

so during the interaction, i didn't clock out, go crazy, or get mean or angry. i was just taken aback by the assumption that was made based on my appearance and that of my kids as well as what he amazed response really meant in regards to his notions of race and color.

i'm sure this is only the beginning of the many, many questions yet to come. should be fun...

It's Miley!!!!!

It's Racist!!!!!

Now it REALLY All Makes Sense!

i found out where my manager learned his technique. well played, Nemesis...well played.

mamasaymamasahdon'tstealmyshit, mamasaymamasahdon'tstealmyshit!

rihanna has unfortunately discovered what many of us came to realize well before she was born: michael jackson will lead you down the path of unfortunate skin bleachings and financial destruction!!!

same as it ever was....same as it ever was....same as it ever was.....

And Electing a Moron has the Exact Opposite Effect.

"Researchers from three major universities have released preliminary findings of a study that suggests that Obama’s rise to the presidency has already improved the abilities of black test-takers."

man, pretty soon all the black choolrin will start expecting to not go to jail, either...and florida evans said there was no such thing as black jesus!