Like it or not? I pick not.

so i read an irritating little number today on msnbc that informed me that Like it or not, name can impact your career.

it was full of anecdotes about the motel owner who made his Latino employees white-out their names. this is the same guy who states he once made his black employees do the same thing without any complaint, so what's the problem? he's a defense attorney's dream client, am i right?

and just when i thought the article was going to save itself by pointing out that “changing somebody’s name is something that could be viewed as intentionally discriminatory or not but it still could have a disparate impact on a certain group of workers," it throws itself back into the bullshsit bag with this statement:

"If, however, the employer has some legitimate business reason for asking a worker to change his or her name, he said, and is not only singling out one group, then that may be a different story."

i'm really hard pressed to think up any legitimate business reasons which would necessitate an employer asking an employee to white out his or her name. but what do i know, i only investigate discrimination for a living.

and the article presses forth on the Bullshit Express, we get this particular infuriating tidbit of advice from Bruce Lansky, a guy who wrote down a bunch of baby names and got it published. he advises:

“If you’re picking a name for your child, it’s reasonable to select a name that reflects your ethnicity but which will strike most people as ‘familiar’ or ‘mainstream’ rather than ‘foreign’ or ‘off-putting.’”

see what he did there? he set up some nice helpful synonyms for us. Familiar is to Mainstream as Foreign is to Off-putting.

BUT THERE'S MORE!!

“A foreign-sounding or highly ethnic-sounding name will have people wondering if they spoke English in the household, or if they’ll be able to get along and mix with Americans.”

soooooo, i guess the job history and educational background which are listed on an applicant's resume or application couldn't answer any of those questions, right? because we're just gonna assume someone with a foreign (off-putting) sounding name can't possibly be American. Right?

He suggested finding names that are part of your culture or ethnicity but are not too overt. For example, he said, “if you’re Irish, you could choose Kevin or Shawn, instead of Dermott or Shamus.”

Or use an Anglo-sounding name as the middle name, he noted, giving a child a choice on what to use when they get older. “It can be Abdullah and his middle name can be Henry,” he said.

the author of the article could have talked about how the certain someones in positions of hiring or authority believe they have a right to tell certain browner someones that their names are wrong, and how this is a monstrously obvious show of the privilege and power that drives Racism and Oppression in the country. but nah, why go through all that when she could let us know that she used white-out on her own name, choosing to be know "professionally" as Eve. rather than Evanthia.

"But you do mind if we call you Sal?"

the bottom line?

stop scaring Americans with your foreign, off-putting names! otherwise, you're gonna force someone to discriminate against you on your job. and why would you want to play the race card like that, Abdullah Henry??

afterall, “most people in America are not bigoted, but they do have comfort zones.”