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Saturday, August 6, 2011

She's the Type.

The internet is talking about Nicki Minaj and the recent "incident" she was involved in last month. It appears that on July 12, police officers were called to the hotel Minaj was staying in due to a report made by a hotel employee. A police report was made regarding an assault and Minaj refused to press charges.

And then she denied it. She pulled a straight Sarah Palin and said that the reporting of the incident was inaccurate and blamed the media. Which was wack, but whatever.

AND THEN THE 911 CALL HIT THE INTERNET!

Welp, so much for denying it happened. In the call you can hear The Minaj asking the man "why did you hit me" and also later saying "look what he did to my face!" The police report has also been released of the incident, stating that after receiving treatment, she refused to press charges. And what is her response to this info becoming public?

"get off of my penis."

The way this whole thing has played out has been depressingly typical. Woman gets assaulted, woman seeks help, woman gets help, woman denies the incident even happened. It happens like this for many women in abusive relationships up until the day they are finally able to get away from the relationship. But what i did not see coming, was the opinion many people have that it is not at all surprising that she would be a victim of domestic violence.

And the lack of surprise isn't couched in the knowledge that Hip-Hop can be insanely misogynistic. No, apparently, she just "seems like the type who would be with an abusive guy."

Okay, now do what?

Here's why this line of thinking is problematic:

1) it assumes that there is a specific type of woman who is victimized in relationships and a type of woman who isn't. just so long as you stay on the right side of the fence, you shouldn't have any problems, right?

2) it takes all responsibility of the incident out of the hands of the man (who typically abuses) and places it on the woman, because she CHOSE to be with an abusive man. because she's the type.

3) it ignores the dynamics of abusive relationships and the fact that abusers groom their victims into accepting the mistreatment by steadily escalating the objectionable behavior. Rarely does an abuser got from charming to fight to the face. It usually gradually escalates in severity and frequency.

Domestic violence is not particular. It can happen to any woman of any race or nationality, of any age, educational level, or profession. And to have people wave it away when it happens to certain women with a cynical "are we really surprised" is demoralizing and infuriating, as if there is a certain class of victim that requires scorn where others require sympathy.

Look around you: among every single woman you know, one or more of them have been assaulted or will be assaulted by an intimate partner.

So, I guess we are all The Type.

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