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Monday, September 13, 2010

If you get the stitches then you have to do the dishes.

You know that moment when you are so hungry, the only think you can fixate on is eating that one meal that will make it all okay? the one meal that is going to make it the clanging and desperation in your stomach disappear...and then here comes someone messing it all up with their annoying bullshit and bothersome drama and screaming and running and blooWAIT WHAT?!?

Stanley Neace, a Kentucky Man Shoots, Kills Five over Wife’s Botched Breakfast

A man who was fighting his landlord over an eviction order to oust him from his home because of his explosive temper apparently went too far on Saturday.


Stanley Neace became upset over the way his wife had prepared his breakfast eggs so he shot her to death, together with his stepdaughter and three of his neighbors.

Trooper Jody Sims of the Kentucky State Police told the press that the 47 year old Neace murdered the five in Eastern Kentucky at about 11.30am on Saturday. He then went home and turned the gun on himself. Police found his body on the porch of his Jackson, KY trailer.

According to Sherri Ann Robinson, who is related to one of the shooting victims, the assailant was distressed over the way his breakfast was prepared and had scared his wife Sandra so much that she ran to a neighbor’s home for help.

Neace pursued his wife and in the end five people lay dead –his wife Sandra, her daughter also called Sandra, and neighbors Dennis Turner, Teresa Fugate and Tammy Kilborn.

wow. so "botched breakfast" is the new euphemism for "domsetic violence." that's a horrifying shame. i'm getting so sick and tired of these stories of men blanking out and taking violent measures against loved ones when all they're trying to do is eat some....pigs feet....in....bed....
 
Woman cuts drunk man while eating pigs' feet in bed, police say

Police in Rock Hill are investigating after they say a man eating pig's feet in bed was assaulted.

Officers with the Rock Hill Police Department were called out to a home along Twitty Court on Saturday, to the report of a man stabbed.


When officers arrived they spoke to the suspect, whose name has not been released, who says she was sitting in bed with Tommy Barber, 50, eating pig's feet.

While they were eating, the suspect told police the knife accidentally cut Barber, resulting in a deep cut on his arm.

Barber was unable to give officers a statement because he was highly intoxicated, the police report stated.

The suspect was charged with Assault and Battery of a High and Aggravated Nature. Police are still investigating the case.

well.

look i'm not going to act like i haven't experienced severe food related disappointment. i'm not even going to go into the little "incident" in which i choked out a waitress at IHOP because i'd ordered my eggs fried hard but received them runny as snot. but that was the past. i've grown. and i'm still on probation.

anyhoo, i'm just saying that perhaps instead of shooting each other and stabbing each other and beating each other and detroying property over chicken nuggets...we should perhaps relax and put things in perspective.

i mean other than the eggs, none of this stuff was real food anyway. how you gonna cash someone's check over chum and partially hydrogenated fake chicken slabs?

no, we should all calm down and remember that there is only one thing worth maiming your fellow man over:



















bourbon.

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