Bacon, once again, is the answer

in case you haven't heard, a Florida couple is in police custody for making the lady-moron's 8 year-old daughter suck on a bar of soap for 10 minutes. the child apparently said a "naughty word" and was made to suck the soap by the gentleman-moron (lady-moron's boyfriend*), which caused an allergic reaction that these morons didn't get treated for several hours.

if people aren't going to get over the fact that now, in 2009, we can't do the things that were done to children in the 50s and get away with it, then i would hope they would do some research in the matter and come to an agreeable solution:

it's a win/win! the parent feels like they have delivered a tried and true punishment...that's basically an unthinking and useless exercise in brute force...and the kid gets a delicious bacony snack.

if they'd used this soap, she wouldn't have needed police intervention! she woulda needed some biscuits and jelly!!

* for the life of me, i cannot understand how a woman lets her boyfriend do some foul shit like this to her child. something like that happen to one of my kids, it's going down.

obligatory oh noooooes blog post.

goodbye, Michael Joseph.

i'm sorry you were treated so badly.
i'm sorry you weren't allowed to be weird in peace.
i'm sorry your father is such an abusive, rotten piece of shit. he'll get his.
i'm sorry you hated your face so very much that you mutilated it.

and i'm mostly sorry so many people are going to remember you as a joke rather than a genius.





i wore high water pants to work today in a show of sympathy and grief. and i did't put on lotion so my ankles look just like those socks.

rip, mr. jackson.