Samuel Wertzenheimer Schmidt

So Joe the Plumber....why yes, people ARE still talking to him...had something interesting he wanted to share regarding his frustration with Nancy Pelosi:

"Those kind of people, I usually took out behind the woodshed and just beat the livin' tar out of 'em."

let's deconstruct this statement shall we?

"Those kind of people.." - what kind of people would that be? women? say it ain't so, joe!

"i usually took out behind the woodshed" - is that what you usually did, Samuel? when did you stop? when they got restraining orders? when the ex moved to the battered women's shelter? when?

"and just beat the livin' tar out of 'em." - and so now we're from the south. can't you practically hear the drawl ratchet up as you read the words to yourself? now say it out loud. no you're ears are not deceiving you, you did just sound like Dolly Parton.

now, what did Nancy Pelosi do to inspire a threat of woodshedding from Joe? well, i dunno. maybe she had the audacity to have a man-type job instead of a lady-type job? you know, like one of those jobs whose title ends in the letters -ette?

word on the street is Joe the Unlicensed Plumber wants to run for public office. apparently he is taking the old down home approach of talking like he grew up in the mean streets of Appalachia. you know, the strategy that worked so well for Sarah Palin.

....or not.

all i can say is this: if i happen to see any political ads for this man where he is talking like an idiot and punctuating his statements by dropping a wink, i'll pluck my own damn eyes out.