or fix it second...or third....

poor dear, why doesn't anyone have the heart to tell her??

Samuel Wertzenheimer Schmidt

So Joe the Plumber....why yes, people ARE still talking to him...had something interesting he wanted to share regarding his frustration with Nancy Pelosi:

"Those kind of people, I usually took out behind the woodshed and just beat the livin' tar out of 'em."

let's deconstruct this statement shall we?

"Those kind of people.." - what kind of people would that be? women? say it ain't so, joe!

"i usually took out behind the woodshed" - is that what you usually did, Samuel? when did you stop? when they got restraining orders? when the ex moved to the battered women's shelter? when?

"and just beat the livin' tar out of 'em." - and so now we're from the south. can't you practically hear the drawl ratchet up as you read the words to yourself? now say it out loud. no you're ears are not deceiving you, you did just sound like Dolly Parton.

now, what did Nancy Pelosi do to inspire a threat of woodshedding from Joe? well, i dunno. maybe she had the audacity to have a man-type job instead of a lady-type job? you know, like one of those jobs whose title ends in the letters -ette?

word on the street is Joe the Unlicensed Plumber wants to run for public office. apparently he is taking the old down home approach of talking like he grew up in the mean streets of Appalachia. you know, the strategy that worked so well for Sarah Palin.

....or not.

all i can say is this: if i happen to see any political ads for this man where he is talking like an idiot and punctuating his statements by dropping a wink, i'll pluck my own damn eyes out.

An Officer Acting Stupidly

ok, let's start from the beginning: a Boston police officer is suspended with pay for forwarding an email which referred to henry louis gates as a "banana-eating jungle monkey."

he apologizes for the email, saying he's not a racist, he's just prejudiced against people who behave the way professor gates behaved.

so basically, what's he saying is: "I'm not prejudiced against black people, i just don't like niggers!"

and as if things weren't bad enough, he does the absolutely absurd: he hires an attorney and sues!!

BOSTON, Massachusetts (CNN) -- A Boston police officer is suing the city after he was suspended for referring to a black Harvard professor as a "banana-eating jungle monkey" in an e-mail."If I'm charged with a crime I want a chance to answer. I want the chance for a fair hearing," Officer Justin Barrett told CNN on Tuesday.

Barrett has apologized and denied he is a racist.

His lawsuit claims his civil rights have been violated; Barrett's lawyer said the words referring to Henry Louis Gates, Jr. were misinterpreted.

"The choice of words were poor; but they weren't meant to characterize professor Gates as a banana-eating jungle monkey," attorney Peter Marano said. "They were meant in a response to behavior and characterizing the behavior. Not the person as a whole."

Marano said the city had effectively fired Barrett, though he is officially suspended with pay.
He said it was fair to hold Barrett to a higher standard than the general public because he is a police officer, but that he was still entitled to express his opinions.

"Being held to a higher standard shouldn't eradicate his right under the First Amendment for free speech. That is part and parcel of the lawsuit," the lawyer said.

oh, so he he thinks his civil rights have been violated because he was reprimanded by being suspended with pay for sending a racist email. he's being victimized because he's the true face of racial discrimination these days!

just ask Pat.

isn't it funny that some people always seem to think protection under the first amendement should somehow extend to not having to face the consequences of their speech?

amazing.

Of course she did

Kerrine Steffans was on the Hoda and Kathy Lee Wasted an Hour of My Life Today Show recently talking about about her newest book. she has written about how to find, seduce, and keep a man.

of course she did.

anyhoo, she called herself giving Hoda, who she called "mature," some relationship advice. allow me to paraphrase:

if you don't slow down your bossy ways and let a man be a man, you are gonna end up alone for the rest of your life because no man will want you.

oh, yes she did.

Hoda made this what in the F face when Karrine said this that basically summed up my thoughts: superhead finally got eddie winslow to marry her and now she thinks she's in a position to give Hoda Muhfkn Kotb DATING...WAIT... ANY ADVICE???

"i'm super smart! and i'm very witty!" - actual quote

Karrine "i put my man's anal beads on blast in a video i posted to the internet" Steffans?

Karrine "i wrote not one but two books about how i had sex with anything moving in the rap game but i'll get pissed if you mention it now" Steffans?

well, alrighty then. Karrine Steffans is now an expert on relationships because she's handled more dick than a 900 year old rabbi.

sure. i'll buy that for a dollar.

assholes and pool tables.

how about a little more Us versus Them humor, with a twist of racism and classism?

i stumbled across this juxtaposition earlier on a humor blog. and while i can agree the first video is blood-curdling in it's ridiculousness....the second video made a point i'm not entirely comfortable with laughing about.



the humor blog i found this on describes the next video as such:

This evening (Tosh) had a segment called “Whites Rule”.

Tosh.0	Thurs, 10pm / 9c
Reviewing Tosh's Assets
http://www.comedycentral.com/
Daniel Tosh Miss Teen South Carolina Demi Moore Picture

so if this is whiteness, then the earlier video is blackness, right?

i am in now way saying that the actions of the kid in the first video made any sense at all. after a while i was beginning to wonder if he was gonna pull a stack out of his hat and his ass crack.

but what makes this not even funny to me is that in order to really find the second video funny, it seems like you gotta act like something very major and important happened in this country that laid the foundation for the difference in thinking with regards to wealth building, capitalism, and education.

i had almost the same reaction recently while watching a commercial for Lowe's or Home Depot, which showed a WWII era veteran and his family moving into their first home. the commercial showed that through it all, Lowe's has been there for the family.

the veteran and his family in the commercial were white, which isn't too surprising. but what stood out to me is that during that time period, when GIs were coming back from war and were buying homes, there were whole subdivision that would not sell to black GIs. it didn't matter that they had just found for this country, they weren't allowed to live in lovely houses in the suburbs like the whites.

now if i know that, wouldn't you think that someone at the ad agency that made the commercial knew that too?

so all this being said, i think i'll be missing Tosh.0 on Comedy Central. i'm pretty sure his jokes are gonna leave me a little cold.