My Archetype Precedes Me

i went to lunch today with a coworker at an indian restaurant. this is one of our favorite restaurants in our city because the food is fabulous, the decor of the place is really cute, and the price is always right. so as we sit down and continue our conversation, we are joking and laughing about something. the waiter came over and laughed and laughed and laughed as well. then he looked at me and told me "you are very funny."

odd.

i'm pretty sure he didn't understand why what i was saying was funny since it was specific to a topic my coworker and i know about. and he wasn't a party to the conversation, so he couldn't have gathered the meaning by context. and yet, here he stood smiling eagerly in my face telling me i'm very funny.

and this continued throughout lunch. he would come by the table with water refills or to see if we needed anything, he'd make little comments to me about how funny i was if he saw that we were laughing. so very FUNNY!

and it didn't matter who had said the funny thing which caused us both to laugh; he would look at me and tell me i was funny. SO VERY FUNNY!!

during my trip to the restroom, he informed my coworker that she looks JUST LIKE a former neighbor of his....even told her the neighbor's name....and then asked her if that was HER name.

and this is one of the many reasons why some of us are pissed so often: nobody likes to feel like they are a fuckin template. do you see that i can't even go to lunch sometimes without being reminded of my station, based on what someone thinks they know about you because of your race?!

see this type of prejudice is really tricky. i am aware that his intentions were not to offend or make his customer's uncomfortable. he was merely demonstrating that he has accepted certain notions about other people of color as the gospel and was trying to relate to us based on those notions. i am positive that were i to have reacted negatively to what he perceived as compliments, then i would have downshifted from Funny Black Girl to Angry Black Bitch.

and if i'd asked why i was so funny, i would have been Crazy Black Bitch.

but while he was flailing about trying to relate to us, he didn't understand the shift within me caused by his words. because frankly, while i like being a funny black girl, i did not want to be The Funny Black Girl Archetype.

i just wanted some tikka masala, shit!