My Archetype Precedes Me

i went to lunch today with a coworker at an indian restaurant. this is one of our favorite restaurants in our city because the food is fabulous, the decor of the place is really cute, and the price is always right. so as we sit down and continue our conversation, we are joking and laughing about something. the waiter came over and laughed and laughed and laughed as well. then he looked at me and told me "you are very funny."

odd.

i'm pretty sure he didn't understand why what i was saying was funny since it was specific to a topic my coworker and i know about. and he wasn't a party to the conversation, so he couldn't have gathered the meaning by context. and yet, here he stood smiling eagerly in my face telling me i'm very funny.

and this continued throughout lunch. he would come by the table with water refills or to see if we needed anything, he'd make little comments to me about how funny i was if he saw that we were laughing. so very FUNNY!

and it didn't matter who had said the funny thing which caused us both to laugh; he would look at me and tell me i was funny. SO VERY FUNNY!!

during my trip to the restroom, he informed my coworker that she looks JUST LIKE a former neighbor of his....even told her the neighbor's name....and then asked her if that was HER name.

and this is one of the many reasons why some of us are pissed so often: nobody likes to feel like they are a fuckin template. do you see that i can't even go to lunch sometimes without being reminded of my station, based on what someone thinks they know about you because of your race?!

see this type of prejudice is really tricky. i am aware that his intentions were not to offend or make his customer's uncomfortable. he was merely demonstrating that he has accepted certain notions about other people of color as the gospel and was trying to relate to us based on those notions. i am positive that were i to have reacted negatively to what he perceived as compliments, then i would have downshifted from Funny Black Girl to Angry Black Bitch.

and if i'd asked why i was so funny, i would have been Crazy Black Bitch.

but while he was flailing about trying to relate to us, he didn't understand the shift within me caused by his words. because frankly, while i like being a funny black girl, i did not want to be The Funny Black Girl Archetype.

i just wanted some tikka masala, shit!

black "canadians"...an exercise in redundant redundancy....part I

i read an interesting blog post a few moments ago that blew my mind. in it, the blog author discussed how and the possible reasons why some white people call black people "Canadians." now, the idea alone that "white people call black people Canadians" was confusing enough.

Macon D writes in his blog, "What we have here is an example of a phenomenon that I've noted before, that of "whispering the word 'black.'" In certain situations, some white people use "Canadians" to refer covertly to black people when they think they shouldn't use another word. That other word probably isn't "black people" or "African Americans," but instead, a "worse" word. A more overtly racist word."

how is it possible that i have made it 36 years and have never heard that this is an expression used by some when they want to be slick and not use the N-word?? have i been sheltered? is this a regional thing?

have i actually every heard this euphamism before and just assumed the people talking were really talking about Canadians!?

i'm really conflicted about whether or not i'm angry, sad, or just resigned. i'm gonna work on this one a few days and blog back...

logical reasoning: ur doing it wrong!

so, because you didn't get a tip by individuals at your table, you've been forced to develop racist notions against an entire race of people...the type of people who live in ghettos...

listen, you can't blame someone for "making" you racist. but punking out and using an euphemism instead of what you really want to say DOES makes you a coward.

Do You Know what You Think You Know?

about a year ago, i had a conversation with a friend about the oft-reported stats regarding black women and the chances we have of marrying and having children compared to other women of other races. the stats we discussed, of course, were pretty grim. Yet, my friend in all seriousness said "yeah, but i don't know if i even believe those numbers. who's to say they are accurate?"

whaaaaaat? what is this crazy theory to spout? question STATISTICS????

her statement led to a greater conversation about how the "negro condition" is more usually viewed through a lens of dysfunction rather than positivity and how people just accept the negative information as if it's gospel. this week i was made aware of an amazing example of this phenomenon in action.

how many of us have heard the statement "In the United States, there are more Black Men in Prison than there are In College?" and how many of us have said to ourselves and others "That's a Shame and We MUST Find an Answer to this Problem!"

now what if i told you that that particular "fact" about black men is based on data which was skewed?

what if i told you that, using comparable data to include other variables other than just race, the ratio of black men in college actually overshadows those in prison?

"The numbers in question from the Justice Policy Institute report come from the Bureau of Justice Statistics and the National Center for Education Statistics. The report indicates that there were an estimated 791,600 black men in jail and prison in 2000 and a count of 603,032 in college in 1999. Mr. Morton agrees with the jail and prison number but asserts in his blog that the more reliable U.S. Census Bureau reports that there were 816,000 black men in college in 2000. In the film, he makes comparisons using the same data sources for 2005 and states this number to be 864,000. Furthermore, he argues that it is bad practice to use the entire age range of black males when making these comparisons, because the age range for college-going males is generally 18 to 24, not the 18 to 55 (and up) range of the jail and prison population. Viewed this way, the ratio of black men in college compared with jail and prison is 4-to-1."
- Michael Strambler (Baltimore Sun)

now what i'm not going to do is get into the possible conspiracy theories that could explain how and why the popular "fact" came to be part of our everyday knowledge. but i do find it curious that something as simple as drawing comparisons between two groups which are not exactly alike, something that would get a freshman called to the carpet in an entry level college statistical analysis class, could get past data analysts and peer reviewers.

and i find it sad that most of us accepted that information as fact as soon as we heard it. many of us didn't even bat an eye and thing to ourselves "now what a minute!"

it's caused me to take a second look at many facts i have internalized throughout my life. and it's made me committed to not just accepting negative information as unequivocal fact just because it's supported by statistical data which may or may not have been manipulated to support the fact!

i'm not saying i'm going to turn into a homeless, deranged conspiracy theorist. i'm just saying: i'm gonna look a little bit deeper from here on out. and i invite you to do the same.

But His Mouth Gets off Scott Free??

Shahrazad Ali wrote at book in the late 80s called The Blackman's Guide to Understanding the Blackwoman. In it, she informed men that if a woman is being verbally offensive, it is appropriate and necessary for him to correct her by slapping her in the mouth.

Ok, so the domestic violence implications aside..as well as the fact that Shahrazad is a *little* fuckin crazy...consider this:

"Controversial radio host Don Imus announced on his radio show this morning that he is battling stage II prostate cancer.

"He speculated that the cancer could be a result of stress."

Or....could it have been the one million and one curses flung at him through time and space from a group of "nappy-headed hoes" in New York?

well whatever the cause of Imus' illness, i do know one thing for sure: his mouth sure dodged a hell of a bullet!

Happy Birthday, Bruh!

happy birthday, abraham lincoln! wow! two hundred years old. you really look good...well, you know, i mean your image and memory have really really held up well over the years.

when i was small, i had an animated book about about great you were. it talked about how you lived in a log cabin as a child, about how you had a learning disability but overcame it, and about how you grew to become a great orator and statesman. and after doing a bit of research in college, i stumbled across one of your speeches that really, really moved me:

"I will say, then, that I AM NOT NOR HAVE EVER BEEN in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the black and white races---that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of Negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with White people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the White and black races which will ever FORBID the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together, there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I, as much as any other man, am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the White race."— 4th Lincoln-Douglas debate, September 18th, 1858; COLLECTED WORKS Vol. 3, pp. 145-146

and this!

"What I would most desire would be the separation of the white and black races."— Spoken at Springfield, Illinois on July 17th, 1858; from ABRAHAM LINCOLN: COMPLETE WORKS, 1894, Vol. 1, page 273

and don't forget this!!

"Why should the people of your race be colonized, and where? Why should they leave this country? This is, perhaps, the first question for proper consideration. You and we are different races. We have between us a broader difference than exists between almost any other two races. Whether it is right or wrong I need not discuss, but this physical difference is a great disadvantage to us both, as I think your race suffer very greatly, many of them by living among us, while ours suffer from your presence. In a word, we suffer on each side. If this be admitted, it affords a reason at least why we should be separated. It is better for both, therefore, to be separated."— Spoken at the White House to a group of black community leaders, August 14th, 1862, from COLLECTED WORKS OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN, Vol 5, page 371

oh, yooooooooooooooou! you were truly a great man of words.

that's what's makes, to me, Obama's use of your bible all the more poignant for me and many of the people i know! and the idea of him giving his speech under the watchful (outraged?) gaze of your memorial statue.

so happy birthday and thanks, Great Emancipator. we really couldn't have done it without you!

It's Miley!!!!!

It's Racist!!!!!

and they drove a black car with a black dog in the backseat!!!

gloria d. mosovich, a landlord in buffalo, recently had her ass handed to her in court because she violated fair housing law. and yet, despite evidence which proved that she's rather lie like a bitch than rent to an african american, she came away from the judgement with this statement:

“Now come on. Was that fair? Now where did I discriminate? The people I rented it to are African- American. Now will you please tell me where I discriminated?” said mosovich.

well, let me break it down for you, miss mosovich:

after the case against you was opened, the fair housing center decided to test you to see if you'd again do what you'd been accused of...AND YOU DID. you told the black testers that the apartment wasn't available but then told the white tester that it was.

your performance in the test completely contradicts your defense that the reason you told the nice black girl the apartment wasn't available was because you had just rented the apartment 2 days prior to someone else. because if the apartment had really really been rented, you wouldn't have offered it to the white tester, now would you?

but, you argue, you rented the apartment to an african american family! how did you discriminate?

because you told someone an apartment wasn't available for rent when it clearly was. otherwise, you wouldn't have offered it to the white tester. and at the last second choosing to rent to a black family doesn't fool anyone or change those facts.

i hope this clears things up for you. and i'm glad to hear you'll be writing a couple of good sized checks to make up for your violation of the housing law. and even if you don't want to admit it to the press or to the girl who you denied an apartment to...deep down inside, you can agree that you'll never make this particular mistake again, right?