Halloween man...effin Halloween.

(click to enlarge)
it took everything in me to say it that nicely.

BREAKING NEWS

the "white bitch" buying drugs from Redman in one of his videos is Brett Ratner's mother. So says Brett Ratner. Also, black people say the darndest thangs! and PS: the plural of "my man" is "my mans."

in a related story, a unsuspecting black woman in Charlotte, NC felt the top of her head explode while trying to watch the VH-1 Def Jam Hip Hop Honors....

Because he's six.

the bad news just keep on rolling out over Falcon Heene and his crazy-ass lying dirt-dog parents the apparent hoax perpetrated upon us all by his parents. as we all know by now, it all started falling to pieces when, during a family interview with Wolf Blitzer, Falcon responded to the question of why he didn't answer when he heard his parents calling his name: "you guys said we were doing this for a show."

when he said that, it seemed like everyone in the family was frozen. even The Crickets, who usually live for these moments of sudden silence, were too shocked to rub their little dry-ass legs together.

and the reason Falcon told the truth is because Falcon is a little kid and he hadn't been told what to say in response to that question.

the next day, in an attempt at damage control, those Wacky Heene's took their Calvacade of Crazy on early morning shows, trying to convince everyone that Falcon answered that question the way he did because he didn't really understand the question. Meanwhile, Falcon noisily vomited into a Tuppeware dish throughout.

on live TV.

so now the predominant news story of the day is The Balloon Boy Story Was a Hoax. everyone is talking about what kind of man Richard Heene is, that he'd use his child to try to get publicity and notoriety, noting that the first phone call he made was not to the police or fire department: it was to the local media.

the family's attorney even went on the Today this morning and stated that arresting the parents in front of the children and media would be "child abuse." But, when asked if perhaps using a child in a hoax and dragging him around for interviews with anyone with a microphone might also be considered child abuse, the lawyer decided that would be a call he'd be more comfortable letting child protective services make.

but that's the story we all really need to be talking about: how this all has affected Falcon. the kid who was too little to keep the lie going and was under so much stress afterwards became physically ill during yet another round of television interviews in which he parents used him to LIE TO EVERYONE AGAIN.

the dad jumps out as completely narcissistic. and not in the "ooohWEE he sure is vain" kinda way.

no, i mean in the really crazy kinda way.

we know what Richard Heene has been saying to the cameras. what is he saying to his children when the camera's aren't rolling?

any questions?

i haven't had too much to say about chris brown felonious assualt on Rihanna since it all went down because 1) i don't really care like that and 2) lots of girls get beaten like Rihanna every hour on the hour: unfortunately, her victimization does not make her unique.

however, this boy over here has finally lured me out into the fray with all this stupid talking he plans on doing tonight during his ill-advised chitty chat with Larry King. The leaked quotes have definitely gotten my attention because they show a person who clearly has no real understanding of the gravity of the situation, who honestly feels like he's been a victim in this process as well, and has yet to develop a really clear sense of what  domestic/dating violence is.

some of the teaser quotes released from the upcoming interview include brown's explanation that the difference between himself and his stepfather, who brutally battered his mom, is that his stepfather "enjoyed" beating his mom, and that there was a continuous pattern of abuse.

and... this point is supposed to illustrate the difference between the two? oh, for real?

chris brown also thinks that the show Oprah Winfrey did on domestic and dating violence right after he beat up Rihanna was "a slap in the face."

oh yes, he did.

he also said he wished she had been more helpful TO HIM while he was going through being the most hated american negro since OJ.

look, man. you seem to have lost perspective.

THIS is what a slap (and punch) to the face looks like:

Oprah doing a show about weakass woman beaters where she specifically tells the woman you've battered to stay away because "if he does it once, he'll do it again" is a PUBLIC SERVICE.

if he thought he felt a great deal of hatred when he first beat her, just wait until tomorrow when he is ravaged for his statements during his sit-down with Larry King.

this cliche is here to stay!

and now, we get down to it.

remember when you were in elementary school and adults tried to convince you that if someone of the opposite sex was being mean to you, that it should be overlooked because that just meant he or she liked you a whole lot?

now hold on Cindy Cynical-Pants! that may have sounded like some old blame shifting, DV-grooming, bullshit at the time but here's something to consider that puts it all in perspective:

over on Free Republic, the birthers are talking about how they wanna check out the President's penis!

hoosiermama:

The only other thing that hit me was that Sinclair said BO was not circumcised. When my son was born in a hospital that was done as a matter of routine without even consulting us. Would the same be for Hawaii? OTOH People born at home or in some other cultures are not circumcised.

thecodont:

A relative of mine was born (in a hospital) a couple of years after BO's alleged birth date. He was circumcised also (as a matter of routine, not according to any family request).

afraidfortherepublic:

My son was born in June of 1961 in a hospital in CA, and the nurses released us because of miscommunication in a day and a half before the circumcision was done. We had to go back to the doctor’s office to have it done a week later, and the doctor was NOT HAPPY. My second son was born in the same hospital 4 years later. I don’t remember them asking me about it. Routine procedure for little boys.

hoosiermama:

Wish we had someone to make a phone call to the hospitols in HI and ask if they routinely do circumcism and when that practice started.

MHGinTN:

You might want to make that call to a Canadian hospital ...

MHGinTN:

No...it would have been in Kenya....not Canada.

Natural Born 54

I am having a vision of a court room scene. The judge turns to O sitting in the witness chair to his left and says “I am sorry, Mr. President, but I am going to have to ask you to stand and drop trou .....”

how porntastic is THAT? you can almost hear Natural Born 54's heavy breathing as he typed about his vision of seing Obama naked from the waist down.

actually, it kind of reminds me of something...

i cannot believe it's finally come to this, something i've often heard talked about within the black community but never actually seen outside of it. do the birthers really see nothing freakishly familiar about their belief that they have a right to see the President's sex organs???

i don't know about you, but this post-racial america is killing me on the inside.