a little ditty about Carlos Estevez

life's funny, am i right?

just when you're pretty sure you know the rules of the game, of what does and doesn't make a person a piece of shit, here comes a curve ball.

to recap: Chris Brown beats the shit outta Rihanna and we're still talking about it as late as last month.

Charlie Sheen pulls a freakin knife on his wife and is arrested on 2 felonies and...well....let's just say the clamor for the spill of his blood is muted. and this is after allegations of physical abuse against his previous wife and an "accidental" shooting of then fiance Kelly Preston in 1990.

where you at, Oprah?

 

i asked myself why there was this difference in reaction earlier today, but i already know the answer.

and that answer is getting really really really old.

well, i guess i could put it all in perspective. maybe the media isn't talking about Carlos and his switchblade (how stereotypical) because they have other things to talk about?

yeah....i'm giving the media way too much credit.

i said it yesterday and i'll say it again: it pays to be a Sheen, man. you can just keep on being crazy until you finally kill a woman.

Chris Brown is totally changing his same to Critian Estevez in 2010!

Because he's six.

the bad news just keep on rolling out over Falcon Heene and his crazy-ass lying dirt-dog parents the apparent hoax perpetrated upon us all by his parents. as we all know by now, it all started falling to pieces when, during a family interview with Wolf Blitzer, Falcon responded to the question of why he didn't answer when he heard his parents calling his name: "you guys said we were doing this for a show."

when he said that, it seemed like everyone in the family was frozen. even The Crickets, who usually live for these moments of sudden silence, were too shocked to rub their little dry-ass legs together.

and the reason Falcon told the truth is because Falcon is a little kid and he hadn't been told what to say in response to that question.

the next day, in an attempt at damage control, those Wacky Heene's took their Calvacade of Crazy on early morning shows, trying to convince everyone that Falcon answered that question the way he did because he didn't really understand the question. Meanwhile, Falcon noisily vomited into a Tuppeware dish throughout.

on live TV.

so now the predominant news story of the day is The Balloon Boy Story Was a Hoax. everyone is talking about what kind of man Richard Heene is, that he'd use his child to try to get publicity and notoriety, noting that the first phone call he made was not to the police or fire department: it was to the local media.

the family's attorney even went on the Today this morning and stated that arresting the parents in front of the children and media would be "child abuse." But, when asked if perhaps using a child in a hoax and dragging him around for interviews with anyone with a microphone might also be considered child abuse, the lawyer decided that would be a call he'd be more comfortable letting child protective services make.

but that's the story we all really need to be talking about: how this all has affected Falcon. the kid who was too little to keep the lie going and was under so much stress afterwards became physically ill during yet another round of television interviews in which he parents used him to LIE TO EVERYONE AGAIN.

the dad jumps out as completely narcissistic. and not in the "ooohWEE he sure is vain" kinda way.

no, i mean in the really crazy kinda way.

we know what Richard Heene has been saying to the cameras. what is he saying to his children when the camera's aren't rolling?

this cliche is here to stay!

and now, we get down to it.

remember when you were in elementary school and adults tried to convince you that if someone of the opposite sex was being mean to you, that it should be overlooked because that just meant he or she liked you a whole lot?

now hold on Cindy Cynical-Pants! that may have sounded like some old blame shifting, DV-grooming, bullshit at the time but here's something to consider that puts it all in perspective:

over on Free Republic, the birthers are talking about how they wanna check out the President's penis!

hoosiermama:

The only other thing that hit me was that Sinclair said BO was not circumcised. When my son was born in a hospital that was done as a matter of routine without even consulting us. Would the same be for Hawaii? OTOH People born at home or in some other cultures are not circumcised.

thecodont:

A relative of mine was born (in a hospital) a couple of years after BO's alleged birth date. He was circumcised also (as a matter of routine, not according to any family request).

afraidfortherepublic:

My son was born in June of 1961 in a hospital in CA, and the nurses released us because of miscommunication in a day and a half before the circumcision was done. We had to go back to the doctor’s office to have it done a week later, and the doctor was NOT HAPPY. My second son was born in the same hospital 4 years later. I don’t remember them asking me about it. Routine procedure for little boys.

hoosiermama:

Wish we had someone to make a phone call to the hospitols in HI and ask if they routinely do circumcism and when that practice started.

MHGinTN:

You might want to make that call to a Canadian hospital ...

MHGinTN:

No...it would have been in Kenya....not Canada.

Natural Born 54

I am having a vision of a court room scene. The judge turns to O sitting in the witness chair to his left and says “I am sorry, Mr. President, but I am going to have to ask you to stand and drop trou .....”

how porntastic is THAT? you can almost hear Natural Born 54's heavy breathing as he typed about his vision of seing Obama naked from the waist down.

actually, it kind of reminds me of something...

i cannot believe it's finally come to this, something i've often heard talked about within the black community but never actually seen outside of it. do the birthers really see nothing freakishly familiar about their belief that they have a right to see the President's sex organs???

i don't know about you, but this post-racial america is killing me on the inside.

Of course she's not

so it turns out Karrine Steffans is not married. and she abuses her son. and she's like a stripper with a brain. and she's too messed up for even BOBBY BROWN to deal with. and she calls reporters from her cell phone and then hides it under the pillow so they hear the whole thing while she's having sex....are you PROUD of yourself, Tom Brokaw!!



so....do you think this will affect her talking points that she wrote this book because now that she's a married woman with two kids, she has some advice to share on how to find and keep a man???

meh, prolly not.

i am convicted [and throw away the key]

the other evening, i found myself watching a tv show on mtv called Is She Really Going Out with Him, a *reality* show based on a website. i thought it would be harmless fun, watching this show. i thought "let's see another girl who is obviously way too good with a dude who is deluded enough to believe he's the one with the higher relationship stock.

but what i got for my efforts, friends, was convicted. for you see, the douchebag on this episode bears an uncanny and horrifying resemblance TO ONE OF MY DOUCHEBAG EX-BOYFRIENDS!!!

god help me, it's true. take away the spikes and replaces with a giant curly afro and you have the fellow with whom i wasted several months of my life.

my kentucky buddies know EXACTLY WHO I TALKING ABOUT. but why didn't you tell me????

Is She Really Going Out With Him? - MTV Shows

negative 200 points for having eyebrows like a chola.

Good Idea [bad ideas]

most youngsters like to do things that push the envelope with society and especially with their parents. i for one didn't stop pushing until i'd gotten my nose pierced. but that was two tattoos and 4 piercings later.

when i got my navel pierced, i remember asking the heavily tattooed and studded piercer "is this going to hurt?" and she lied through her lip ring and said "no, not at all."

in hindsight....and hindsight came 2 seconds after she stuck me with the needle....i realized that you cannot take the advice from someone who clearly has an entirely different pain threshold than you do.

which brings me to this little chickadee right here.


behold Kimberley Vlaeminck, an 18 year-old Belgian teen who went to a parlor with the intention of getting three wittle bitty stars on her face.

actually, what had happened was...

"I wanted him to tattoo on just three little points but he suggested three stars, saying it would look prettier. When he started the tattooing I didn't want to feel the pain and so I went to sleep. I had got up at five in the morning."

and what to her wondering eyes did appear?

56 black stars.

now i must admit, she had me when she said she fell asleep and slept through the entire process. that's as mystical and unbelievable as when women say they had painless labor. and by that i mean, "that heffa is lying." can someone please let her know there's a difference between"falling asleep" and "passing out?"

what makes this even more unbelievable is the fact that she chose to close her eyes on this guy right here:



yes, THIS is the tattooist. a perfect study in moderation, am i right?

and he says the girl never "fell asleep" and knew exactly how many stars he'd put on her head and face.

well, of course she did.

but that doesn't change the fact that no one should go to this guy for tattoos or piercings if they're hoping for a cute little sketch of tinkerbell on their ankle, let alone 3 little points, whatever the hell that even means.

i think the lawsuit should be dismissed solely on the fact that the thing she needs the most [COMMON SENSE] is not something she can be awarded in court.

next.

What's WRONG with these People??

there's something i cannot quite figure out. i can't seem to get a bead on why some people prefer to jump and flinch at shadows instead of tackling the real monsters under the bed...on on the bed, hiding in the sheets.

can anyone help me figure out why someone would rather talk crackheadedly about a service organization instead of talking about the hate group they're being compared to....TOM TANCREDO!

TANCREDO: If you belong to an organization called La Raza, in this case, which is, from my point of view anyway, nothing more than a Latino — it’s a counterpart — a Latino KKK without the hoods or the nooses. If you belong to something like that in a way that’s going to convince me and a lot of other people that it’s got nothing to do with race. Even though the logo of La Raza is “All for the race. Nothing for the rest.” What does that tell you?

SANCHEZ: Alright. We’re not talking about — we’re not talking about La Raza –

TANCREDO: She’s a member! She’s a member of La Raza!

now, unless tancredo is delusional, he knows very well that what he is saying is false, inflammatory, and potentially dangerous. i mean, perhaps he really thinks that an organization who's purpose is to support civil rights and improve opportunities for Hispanics is the same as a group who's purpose is to eradicate all races that are not white....you know, without the hoods and ropes and murder and all.

?

some bloggers have pointed out that this type of rhetoric from the right is called blowing the dog-whistle. these types of words affect those of us with all of our marbles a certain way. it's a whole over story with some among us who have lost most of our marbles. those a little less marbled get a whole other meaning from the words, ya dig?

here's what would be great. it would be great if the republicans stopped embarrassing themselves by calling this woman "racist" when so many among their own ranks have done and said racist things repeatedly. and it would be great if, since they seem to be so concerned with racism, that they use they outrage for actual hate-groups that are commiting horrible acts of violence and intimidation in this country.

but i imagine that right around the time that happens, a unicorn with rainbow hair and a nose ring will come to my house Saturday morning and play a rousing game of crazy 8s with me.

Why so crazy, man?

haysoos on a saltine cracker, people are crazy as hell!! why can't people just be okay with the break-up??

VICTORVILLE, Calif. - Prosecutors say a spurned lover ambushed his ex-girlfriend and tried to cut out the breast implants he paid for by stabbing her.
San Bernardino County prosecutor David Foy says 28-year-old Thomas Lee Rowley attacked his ex in July 2006 outside her mother's home in Hesperia, some 70 miles northeast of Los Angeles in the Mojave Desert.
Rowley is on trial in Superior Court in Victorville for attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, stalking, burglary, and false imprisonment.
The 26-year-old woman survived six stab wounds and the punctured breast implants were repaired.
Rowley's former roommate Dennis McGill testified this week that the defendant wanted to reclaim what was rightfully his. Rowley allegedly told McGill, "I'm gonna cut 'em out and get em back."

this story has inspired me to come up with a new line of personal safety/defense items for women. Behold, i bring to you:


THE BOOBINATOR