Halloween man...effin Halloween. Part II

what a predicament! some of my favorite retailers are making it very difficult to give them my hard earned money because they have decided to sell a costume that i find amazingly offensive. well, that's what i call it. Fox News calls it "fantastic."

it's the Illegal Alien costume sold by Target, Walgreens, Toys R Us, Meijer, and Amazon.com. it's product description is:

"He didn’t just cross a border, he crossed a galaxy! He’s got his green card, but it’s from another planet! Sure to get some laughs, the Illegal Alien Adult Costume includes an orange prison-style jumpsuit with 'Illegal Alien' printed on the front, an alien mask and a 'green card.'"


not to be outdone, Halloweenexpress.com has it's own version, complete with big black mustache and baseball hat:

"Mask Includes: Almond eyed, latex, UFO look alien with large black mustache and baseball cap attached."

Halloween used to be fun, right? i mean, i think so....although i recall as a little kid going trick or treating with a classmate who's costume was a "hobo." at the time, we all loved her costume. but there's no way in hell i'd dress my kids up today as a homeless person.

what's so funny about being homeless?

it's turning into one giant exercise in affirming Kyriarchy, where different groups (angrily at times) assert their right to power and privilege over other groups. a clear example of this is the response i received from the woman who wanted her daughter and herself to dress up as Geisha for halloween. She stated she was african american and believed it was totally different for a non-black person to dress up like a black person than it is for a non-asian to dress up like "O-Ren Ishii".....

wait.

i have to take a moment and address this because everytime i think about it i feel like i have a chicken bone in my chest:

O-Ren Ishii....

WASN'T GEISHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't go trying to play 3 card monty with one of my all time favorite movie characters of all time!!!! you said Geisha, not O-Ren Ishii! and if you think they are one in the same, that further illustrates the problem!! (ahem).....where was i?

oh right. Kyriarchy.

Halloween is a tough one....can't we all just dress up like ThunderCats?

HALLOWEEN....HOOOOOOOOOO!!

Think Progress

My Ecdysis

Racialicious

this cliche is here to stay!

and now, we get down to it.

remember when you were in elementary school and adults tried to convince you that if someone of the opposite sex was being mean to you, that it should be overlooked because that just meant he or she liked you a whole lot?

now hold on Cindy Cynical-Pants! that may have sounded like some old blame shifting, DV-grooming, bullshit at the time but here's something to consider that puts it all in perspective:

over on Free Republic, the birthers are talking about how they wanna check out the President's penis!

hoosiermama:

The only other thing that hit me was that Sinclair said BO was not circumcised. When my son was born in a hospital that was done as a matter of routine without even consulting us. Would the same be for Hawaii? OTOH People born at home or in some other cultures are not circumcised.

thecodont:

A relative of mine was born (in a hospital) a couple of years after BO's alleged birth date. He was circumcised also (as a matter of routine, not according to any family request).

afraidfortherepublic:

My son was born in June of 1961 in a hospital in CA, and the nurses released us because of miscommunication in a day and a half before the circumcision was done. We had to go back to the doctor’s office to have it done a week later, and the doctor was NOT HAPPY. My second son was born in the same hospital 4 years later. I don’t remember them asking me about it. Routine procedure for little boys.

hoosiermama:

Wish we had someone to make a phone call to the hospitols in HI and ask if they routinely do circumcism and when that practice started.

MHGinTN:

You might want to make that call to a Canadian hospital ...

MHGinTN:

No...it would have been in Kenya....not Canada.

Natural Born 54

I am having a vision of a court room scene. The judge turns to O sitting in the witness chair to his left and says “I am sorry, Mr. President, but I am going to have to ask you to stand and drop trou .....”

how porntastic is THAT? you can almost hear Natural Born 54's heavy breathing as he typed about his vision of seing Obama naked from the waist down.

actually, it kind of reminds me of something...

i cannot believe it's finally come to this, something i've often heard talked about within the black community but never actually seen outside of it. do the birthers really see nothing freakishly familiar about their belief that they have a right to see the President's sex organs???

i don't know about you, but this post-racial america is killing me on the inside.

Today's moment in Deliciousness with a side order of This Don't Even Make Good Sense!

mr. tj holmes has been unseated. my new favorite piece of delicious is Will Demps.





sweet baby jesus' blanket, this dude right here is....perfect.

and i'm moving to Texas.

how dare you not see anything wrong with this!

Senator Kyl is outraged that Sonia Sotomayor isn't distressed that...she's not....a white male?

whattha!

"...I don't know exactly what the difference will be in my judging but I accept that there will be some based gender and my Latina heritage." You said that you weren't encouraging that. And you talked about how we need to set that aside, but you didn't in your speech say that this is not good. We need to set this aside. Instead you seem to be celebrating it. The clear inference is it's a good thing that this is happening.

So that's why some of us are concerned, first with the [?] [?] in his speech and then this article. It would lead someone to the conclusion that (a) you understand it will make a difference; and (b) not only are you not saying anything negative about that, but you seem to embrace that difference, in concluding that you'll make better decisions. That's the basis of concern that a lot of people have. Please take the time you need to respond to my question.

so....what IS the answer to the question of "why are you celebrating your differences instead of setting them aside?"

my knee-jerk response is "yo mama."

oh. well. thanks for answering that for me.

not long after i posted the question, Macon D gives the answer.

can't a governor go shake his nuts outta trees in peace?

ok, let's recap for those of you keeping track.

THINGS THAT SOUTH CAROLINA HATES:

- federal cash

- schools with proper sewage systems

- black bike week*

- gorillas

- non-black people having suspiciously black relatives

- Scooby Absconding

- underwear?

Sanford disappears to hike Appalachian Trail (on Naked Hiking Day)

We’re not suggesting that the formerly missing Governor of South Carolina specifically ditched his family and security detail to go hiking on Naked Hiking Day. It’s just that one of the days he hit the trail also happened to be the aforementioned holiday. [Editor’s note: This paragraph was changed to make clear that the governor’s timing was a coincidence.]

Until late yesterday, no one would say publicly where he was. Poof. He just disappeared.
The story started to resemble a John Grisham novel. A southern conservative governor and very vocal critic of a popular liberal president eluded his security detail and completely disappeared with his last known whereabouts — before he (or someone) turned off his cell phones — somewhere outside of Atlanta.

Staff was silent. Some were talking about succession plans. The First Lady though said she wasn’t concerned. “He was writing something and wanted some space to get away from the kids,” she said.

But many wondered aloud how this traditional, family-loving, Republican governor of a southern state could miss Fathers Day. After all he’s got four children! Was something sinister in the air?

Then it took a Farrelly brothers screenplay type of twist. Sanford had not disappeared. According to his spokesman, he was hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Coincidentally, on Naked Hiking Day.

It’s a big tradition. Many hikers celebrate the summer solstice by hiking au naturel. It just so happened the solstice occurred on Fathers Day — one of the days Sanford was hiking.

and there you have it. while the rest of the state was running on auto-pilot, Governor Sanford (allegedly) packed his bags and went to go let his bags swing on the appalachian trail.

i'm betting that Us Weekly is going to print an exclusive interview next week with the woman who's been meeting Sanford for the last few years at this event and thought his name was Guillermo.

on an unfortunate aside, i'm beginning to see a disturbing trend in the things SC hates....

nonetheless! never change, South Carolina (as if you would, right?).

*incidentally, i TOTALLY agree with the black bike week hatred.

Christian Science Monitor

what does joblessness look like in your city?

here's what it looks like in mine.



Hundreds line up for 1,014 new Charlotte jobs

Charlotte's beleaguered financial sector got a dose of good news -- 1,014 new jobs in a business helping borrowers with troubled mortgages. (Source)

What's WRONG with these People??

as you have probably heard, the prez and the missus had another fantastic date night, taking in a show in NYC. here i was thinking it was a nice, romantic moment shared by two people clearly in love...well, thank the LERD for Rick Santorum, who let me know it not only served as an example but...kinda....overshot the mark?



Take it Rick!

Number one, I think it's great that the president has a date night with his wife. He's a role model.He's a role model in particular, whether he likes it or not, in the African-American community.

right on, right on...

Here we have a president of the United States who says that marriage is cool. You have respect for your wife, and you treat her with the respect and dignity that she deserves. And she is part of this team. And it's not just part of professional team, but it's also part of a personal, romantic team. I think that's all great. So I think it's important that he keeps having his date night.

yes, that is great. especially since we've never had a married president before. wait...wait, we have, but black people haven't been influenced by the marriages of white people. we only respond when we see other black people doing something. kinda like running away from a club shooting.

wait, what?

I think he has to realize that flying to New York is self-indulgent. Go down to the corner bar and have a drink, a shot and a beer. It does not matter where you go with your wife, is that it's with your wife. That's really the point... I would make the argument, the simpler the date, the more normal it is.

...did this dude just suggest that the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES should take THE FIRST LADY to a bar and just have a drink? why in the world would the man holding the most important office in our country do that, Rick?


It connects to people. Here is what you do. Here is how you do it. And it is not going to Broadway. All right, once in awhile, you do something special. But it is mundane that really makes the marriage special, but because you are with your wife the mundane isn't mundane. It's special.

so, by saying connects with people, he means black people. because black people don't go to new york and they don't go to broadway plays. and a black woman is not going to think it very special to fly her to another city and treat her to a broadway show! nah, nah, naaaaaaaah....here's what you do....here's how you do it: take her to Smitty's for a couple shots of aristocrat, then head on back to the criz-zib, play some big daddy kane, and work it OUT.

huh.

you know i just cannot take it. i cannot even begin to climb that mountain that this man has laid out in front of me. i can only say a few things before i completely degrade and start screaming at my computer:

1) rick santorum is no expert on marriage and no one asked his advice. so what's with the paternalistic, condescending attitude? why does this guy, who's about the same age as Obama, and who lost his re-election bid think he can tell the President how to date his wife?

2) by suggesting the president merely go to a bar for some shots instead of taking his wife to nyc to broadway is absurd. and i know he isn're really going to go there with something being "self-indulgent" when Dubya used Air Force One regularly to travel to and from his private ranch in Crawford, TX. do you now how much it costs to use Air Force One per hour? over $50,000. it's a 2 hour flight from DC. and he visited Crawford 77 times during his administration. do the math.

3) this script follows all too closely to what many people of color have experienced in this society by our paler, well-meaning neighbors. it's patronizing, infuriating, and biased thinking based on racist notions of the black community.

4) with regards to the usual complaints at this junction of any race conversation of someone "always playing the race card" i have this to say: if you don't want me to play the race card, quit dealing from that particular deck.

sexiest gums in the game

so the T-1000 exists after all? luckily, we can stop it with cough syrup and save humanity.

next they'll say she was behind the Atlanta Child Murders

ok, so just so i'm following: first the MSM gave a platform so the right can say Sotomayor is racist. now the MSM are asking if her choice is due to her ethnicity?

man, it's hard out here for a G.

What's WRONG with these People??

i'm beginning to think that perhaps, as part of their vast right-wing conspiracy, republicans have decided to just talk as crazy as possible, in a sense creating their own language. that way they can communication with one another without any of the other dangerous unamericans finding out what they're talking about.

today's installment comes from South Carolina Representative Jim DeMint!!!!

via Crooks and Liars:

CNN's Rick Sanchez played a portion of Arlen Specter's press conference to South Carolina's Jim DeMint and asked him if Republicans are weeding out the moderates from the party -- and isn't that a bad thing?

Sanchez: Republicans are making it very difficult for other Republicans because, and he said this on several times, you tell me what you think of it. You're shrinking the electorate to an extreme, to a point that a regular republican can't win. What do you make of that argument?

DeMint: Oh, that's quite the opposite. We're seeing across the country right now, the biggest tent of all is freedom and what we need to do as Republicans is convince Americans that freedom can work in all areas of their life, for all Americans, whether it's education or health care or creating jobs...

Sanchez: What the hell does that mean? The biggest tent is freedom. FREEDOM, I mean, you gotta do better than that.

DeMint: No, what it means is what has worked in America, free people, free markets for years.

first teabags, then family feud...what are they gonna ruin for me next?!

crazy stuff went down on one of the most beloved, harmless standards in daytime television game shows!

earlier this week, a family was attempting to sweep the board in the category "what is ellen degeneres best known for." as they worked through the list, everything seemed to be going well. and then the host, john o'hurley, asked the only male on the team to answer the question, the man said "she's known to not care for our country."

o'hurley went silent, the audience went silent, even the crickets, who live for these moments, were too shocked to rub their legs together.

and somewhere in america, glenn beck spontaneously ejaculated into his pants.

Tea Baggers taking to the streets April 15th!!

i found this nice little gem earlier today on Crooks and Liars. i had no idea how much fun tea baggers are. there's an extra warm spot in my heart for the dude who, while talking about Obama, almost said "criminal record" rather than "college record."

*sigh*...he's so dreamy.

For THIS, I almost got Dooced!

Dooced (doost) : To be fired for "objectionable posts" on a website.

today at work i navigated over to a local radio stations website to listen to the station while working when my boss walked in, took a look over my shoulder, and asked "WHAT are you LOOKING at???"

the website had on its homepage a picture of one of their on-air morning personalities, starkers but for a valentine.

THIS is what he saw.

now, if my boss had walked in earlier this week when i was purposefully looking at pictures of Jesus Luz, then i'd go ahead and take one for the team.

but the fact of the matter is....i almost got dooced over an ugly dude, man.

ROCK, MEET BOTTOM!

Sales: You're Doing it Wrong!

It's Miley!!!!!

It's Racist!!!!!

wake up call!!

one of my cousins once told me that if a person tries to tell you something about themselves, you should believe them. don't waste time trying to talk someone out of it, if they tell you they are bad news, take their word for it! they're not trying to be modest, they telling you what you're in for!

which brings us to this poor, misguided soul right here: christina raines, future victim...er.....wife of mr. drew "marriage is murder" peterson. read this garbage right HERE!

Peterson, 55, a former Bolingbrook cop, said he's eager to marry Raines, 24, even though he understands why her relatives may not be thrilled with the idea. "I will acknowledge 100 percent that I would have concerns if I were the friends and family of this young girl!"

well thank the LORD he isn't one of her friends or family members....what, what??

man, i hope she watches peterson's interview on nightline and changes her mind about some stuff, because he is trying to tell her something important!! otherwise, see you in the news, miss raines.

UPDATE: turns out she watched peterson's interview on nightline and changed her mind about some stuff!!! martin bashir just saved your life, halleluyer!

and they drove a black car with a black dog in the backseat!!!

gloria d. mosovich, a landlord in buffalo, recently had her ass handed to her in court because she violated fair housing law. and yet, despite evidence which proved that she's rather lie like a bitch than rent to an african american, she came away from the judgement with this statement:

“Now come on. Was that fair? Now where did I discriminate? The people I rented it to are African- American. Now will you please tell me where I discriminated?” said mosovich.

well, let me break it down for you, miss mosovich:

after the case against you was opened, the fair housing center decided to test you to see if you'd again do what you'd been accused of...AND YOU DID. you told the black testers that the apartment wasn't available but then told the white tester that it was.

your performance in the test completely contradicts your defense that the reason you told the nice black girl the apartment wasn't available was because you had just rented the apartment 2 days prior to someone else. because if the apartment had really really been rented, you wouldn't have offered it to the white tester, now would you?

but, you argue, you rented the apartment to an african american family! how did you discriminate?

because you told someone an apartment wasn't available for rent when it clearly was. otherwise, you wouldn't have offered it to the white tester. and at the last second choosing to rent to a black family doesn't fool anyone or change those facts.

i hope this clears things up for you. and i'm glad to hear you'll be writing a couple of good sized checks to make up for your violation of the housing law. and even if you don't want to admit it to the press or to the girl who you denied an apartment to...deep down inside, you can agree that you'll never make this particular mistake again, right?

well, like they say in texas: now i hate dr. phil too.

i tried to watch dr. phil last night and just couldn't take it. his guests at the beginning of the show were ann coulter and alan colmes. and while i'm used to seeing ann on talk shows, i am not used to watching shows in which she has a large amount of support coming from the audience. it seemed like the more outlandish and offensive she became, the more some in the audience absolutely loved it.

and of all the people he could have had on the show representing counterpoint, he chooses alan colmes?? well, that was useless.

gone are the days when ann coulter had to shut the hell up because her jaw was wired shut. she's going from show to show using the same lines over and over again....(yes, yes, last 12 kings of Swaziland, i've heard that one 3 times already)...basically making herself and her career relevant again on the coattails of President Obama.

when i heard those people in the audience cheering as she defended sarah palin's vacuousness as authenticity, i just kept reminding myself of one thing ann wrote last year:

In an April 2, 2008 column, she characterized Barack Obama's book Dreams From My Father as a "Dimestore Mein Kampf." Coulter writes, "He says the reason black people keep to themselves is that it's 'easier than spending all your time mad or trying to guess whatever it was that white folks were thinking about you.' Here's a little inside scoop about white people: We're not thinking about you. Especially WASPs. We think everybody is inferior, and we are perfectly charming about it."

ok, so it's clear that i'm not her audience. and i'm not even going to go there about someone who says that but then runs her trap about the horrors of jeremiah wright (wait, who?). but now that dr. phil has given her a welcome platform for her nonsense, i'm not part of his audience either. and that's a shame, because dr. phil has some of the best make-up artists and hairstylists out there! his team can take a guest with 2 pieces of hair and 5 teeth and make them look like marilyn monroe! AND THOSE ARE THE MEN!

i guess i'll just have to find other crappy tv shows to watch at 8 pm.