What is WRONG with these people???

south carolina. YOU again with your ol' bullshit....

At a recent town hall meeting, South Carolina's Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer criticized the children of poor families, using an impressively dehumanizing metaphor and flunking basic causality in the process.

Bauer, who is running for the Republican nomination for governor, made his remarks during a town hall meeting in Fountain Inn that included state lawmakers and about 115 residents.

"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better," Bauer said.

In South Carolina, 58 percent of students participate in the free and reduced-price lunch program. (Source)

 
as you can see, Andre has extensive personal experience with poverty.
 
now, Andre has taken it upon himself to respond to the criticism regarding his comments by stating this on his personal blog:
 
My suggestion to require parents of children who receive free lunches to attend parent-teacher conferences is simply a common-sense idea to help break the cycle of dependency, while at the same time providing a better education and a brighter future for the children affected.
 
Requiring drug testing for adults receiving tax-funded benefits is also just good, plain, common-sense.

Yes, I am speaking out for such requirements, even though they may be “politically incorrect” in the eyes of the news media. It’s better for the children, it’s better for the taxpayers, and, in the end, offering a hand up instead of a hand out will be better for those who have become taxpayer dependents.

Americans are a compassionate people who will always help their brothers who are truly in need. But we cannot and will not allow those who are simply “riding the system” to continue to do so without consequence.

but what of the feeding stray animals only causing them to breed comment? no mention on his blog.

i'm so over this whole idea that the solution to poverty is for people to decide to stop being poor. but i must admit the whole "maybe we should refuse to feed them, then they'll be too weak to fuck" argument is a new one to me.

i can only imagine what his next suggestion might be....

just when i thought this guy was alright by me, based on his "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW" response to the Luv Guv clandestine trips abroad to be with his soulmate, he goes and proves that above all: he's a South Carolinian...and they are stupid.

i'm not kidding that i'm about sick of this state, man. if it's not for the drivers acting like assholes on I-77, it's the politishuns acting like assholes in DC.

i woulder if YaVaughnie would be willing to drop a few thou on some billboards telling them to STFU?

now isn't that interesting.

The one thing i've noticed over the last couple of days as the media has dragged out every black person they can get their mitts on to talk about the Harry Reid comment is that most of these blacks have dark skin.

For instance, on Sunday morning I saw Donna Brazille on CNN saying she's forgivin Harry Reid for his statement , referencing his glorious history of support of black folks in this country.

you know Donna, right?

And just this morning on CNN, Roland Martin talked about how Harry Reid is a nice guy civil rights has a history yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, Colin Powell. yes, he did.

you know Roland, right?

immediately after Roland's segment, there was a news story about Mark Mcguire by another CNN reporter. and what do you know...

yeap, you guessed it: a light skinned black with no "negro" dialect.

I'm gonna go ahead and throw my hat into the ring: knowing what we know about what racism and colorism and the benefits of assimilating as black americans, why exactly are we mad at Harry Reid about?

is it what he said or the fact that his statement is the truth?

WTF, Yahoo Buzz!

i happen to use Kosmix as my homepage on my home computer. while i'm not that excited about it as a start screen, i usually give it a glance in the 3 second space between opening my browsing and going to Gmail.

at the top of my page, i have about 4 tabs from different news sources. the first tab is news from Yahoo Buzz. and in addition to a quick blurb about a story, i am allowed the chance to read the last comment left by Yahoo readers on the site.

without fail, those comments are ALWAYS offensive. i'm beginning to wonder if perhpas they should change their name to Yahoo Buzz: a Subsidiary of Stormfront. not only are the comments offensive but often they are stupid as hell.

i checked Buzz Heil today and was met with the usual.

it really makes me curious: do they just sit around all day looking for stories online to post outlandish comments to? have they no lives? have they no jobs?

well, i don't need to read this crap. today is officially my last day as a Kosmix user. i'm gonna leave these Yahoo Buzz Bastids to themselves.

i hope they choke on the vitriol.

An Officer Acting Stupidly

ok, let's start from the beginning: a Boston police officer is suspended with pay for forwarding an email which referred to henry louis gates as a "banana-eating jungle monkey."

he apologizes for the email, saying he's not a racist, he's just prejudiced against people who behave the way professor gates behaved.

so basically, what's he saying is: "I'm not prejudiced against black people, i just don't like niggers!"

and as if things weren't bad enough, he does the absolutely absurd: he hires an attorney and sues!!

BOSTON, Massachusetts (CNN) -- A Boston police officer is suing the city after he was suspended for referring to a black Harvard professor as a "banana-eating jungle monkey" in an e-mail."If I'm charged with a crime I want a chance to answer. I want the chance for a fair hearing," Officer Justin Barrett told CNN on Tuesday.

Barrett has apologized and denied he is a racist.

His lawsuit claims his civil rights have been violated; Barrett's lawyer said the words referring to Henry Louis Gates, Jr. were misinterpreted.

"The choice of words were poor; but they weren't meant to characterize professor Gates as a banana-eating jungle monkey," attorney Peter Marano said. "They were meant in a response to behavior and characterizing the behavior. Not the person as a whole."

Marano said the city had effectively fired Barrett, though he is officially suspended with pay.
He said it was fair to hold Barrett to a higher standard than the general public because he is a police officer, but that he was still entitled to express his opinions.

"Being held to a higher standard shouldn't eradicate his right under the First Amendment for free speech. That is part and parcel of the lawsuit," the lawyer said.

oh, so he he thinks his civil rights have been violated because he was reprimanded by being suspended with pay for sending a racist email. he's being victimized because he's the true face of racial discrimination these days!

just ask Pat.

isn't it funny that some people always seem to think protection under the first amendement should somehow extend to not having to face the consequences of their speech?

amazing.

Good Idea [bad ideas]

most youngsters like to do things that push the envelope with society and especially with their parents. i for one didn't stop pushing until i'd gotten my nose pierced. but that was two tattoos and 4 piercings later.

when i got my navel pierced, i remember asking the heavily tattooed and studded piercer "is this going to hurt?" and she lied through her lip ring and said "no, not at all."

in hindsight....and hindsight came 2 seconds after she stuck me with the needle....i realized that you cannot take the advice from someone who clearly has an entirely different pain threshold than you do.

which brings me to this little chickadee right here.


behold Kimberley Vlaeminck, an 18 year-old Belgian teen who went to a parlor with the intention of getting three wittle bitty stars on her face.

actually, what had happened was...

"I wanted him to tattoo on just three little points but he suggested three stars, saying it would look prettier. When he started the tattooing I didn't want to feel the pain and so I went to sleep. I had got up at five in the morning."

and what to her wondering eyes did appear?

56 black stars.

now i must admit, she had me when she said she fell asleep and slept through the entire process. that's as mystical and unbelievable as when women say they had painless labor. and by that i mean, "that heffa is lying." can someone please let her know there's a difference between"falling asleep" and "passing out?"

what makes this even more unbelievable is the fact that she chose to close her eyes on this guy right here:



yes, THIS is the tattooist. a perfect study in moderation, am i right?

and he says the girl never "fell asleep" and knew exactly how many stars he'd put on her head and face.

well, of course she did.

but that doesn't change the fact that no one should go to this guy for tattoos or piercings if they're hoping for a cute little sketch of tinkerbell on their ankle, let alone 3 little points, whatever the hell that even means.

i think the lawsuit should be dismissed solely on the fact that the thing she needs the most [COMMON SENSE] is not something she can be awarded in court.

next.

wrong, wrong, and wrong.

good to know if i ever suffer brain damage, i can easily get a job at a convenience store.

The One Where the Smartass Left the Smart Part Off

dave was tired of people taking the green tea he placed in the office fridge for his (and his alone) satisfaction. unfortunately, dave did not take into consideration that there would be other, smarter daves in the office. FOILED!

dave's stupidity deserves to be rewarded with thirstiness.

What's WRONG with these People??

i recently told a friend of mine that i was so perplexed by the stylings of some conservative politicians, pundits, celebrities, and lunatics that i was going to start blogging about it whenever one of them did or said something cah-razy. and today's first post goes to, of course, our man about the crackerhouse: Glenn Beck!





during a recent show, Beck got so pissed when someone had the gall to criticize him, he did what any one of us would do in that situation: he held up a picture of Martin Luther King, Jr. beside his face and said this!

"I have a dream today. I have a dream that we can stop playing not just the blame the messenger game; I have a dream that we can stop playing the game of blame the messenger who's specifically saying the opposite message."

glenn, you're level of deepness is way to deep to even acknowledge. keep it crazy, homeslice.

Tea Baggers taking to the streets April 15th!!

i found this nice little gem earlier today on Crooks and Liars. i had no idea how much fun tea baggers are. there's an extra warm spot in my heart for the dude who, while talking about Obama, almost said "criminal record" rather than "college record."

*sigh*...he's so dreamy.

it's not like i made him buy my crack!

He: you know my son is in town visiting.

Me: oh, yeah! having a good time?

He: yeah, big time. and you know i got him driving.

Me: really.

He: yeah, i figure i may as well take advantage of him being here and use him as a designated driver so i can really enjoy myself.

Me:....you know you're wack, right?

He: what! he's 18!

I forwarded this to you and to him, asking you to forward to them because i am a good manager!

i can't be trusted to forward a forwarded email so my boss forwards the email to our boss to make sure it gets forwarded correctly. got it?

From: Boss Numba2

Sent: Friday, February 27, 2009

To: Worker B

Cc:Boss Numba1

Subject: Some Damn Jibbahjabbah

Importance: High

Worker B:

Please send to volunteers.

Thanks,

Boss Numba2

For THIS, I almost got Dooced!

Dooced (doost) : To be fired for "objectionable posts" on a website.

today at work i navigated over to a local radio stations website to listen to the station while working when my boss walked in, took a look over my shoulder, and asked "WHAT are you LOOKING at???"

the website had on its homepage a picture of one of their on-air morning personalities, starkers but for a valentine.

THIS is what he saw.

now, if my boss had walked in earlier this week when i was purposefully looking at pictures of Jesus Luz, then i'd go ahead and take one for the team.

but the fact of the matter is....i almost got dooced over an ugly dude, man.

ROCK, MEET BOTTOM!

Telly Sevalas Doesn't Even Say it Anymore!!!

phone conversation:

Boss: I need to you to compile a report outlining the data gathered from the survey i asked you to create.

Worker: ok.

Boss: and i need the information by 4:00 pm

Worker: ok.

Boss: oh, and [redacted]?......who loves you baby?

Worker: (silence)....CLICK!

Happy Birthday, Bruh!

happy birthday, abraham lincoln! wow! two hundred years old. you really look good...well, you know, i mean your image and memory have really really held up well over the years.

when i was small, i had an animated book about about great you were. it talked about how you lived in a log cabin as a child, about how you had a learning disability but overcame it, and about how you grew to become a great orator and statesman. and after doing a bit of research in college, i stumbled across one of your speeches that really, really moved me:

"I will say, then, that I AM NOT NOR HAVE EVER BEEN in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the black and white races---that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of Negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with White people; and I will say in addition to this that there is a physical difference between the White and black races which will ever FORBID the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live, while they do remain together, there must be the position of superior and inferior, and I, as much as any other man, am in favor of having the superior position assigned to the White race."— 4th Lincoln-Douglas debate, September 18th, 1858; COLLECTED WORKS Vol. 3, pp. 145-146

and this!

"What I would most desire would be the separation of the white and black races."— Spoken at Springfield, Illinois on July 17th, 1858; from ABRAHAM LINCOLN: COMPLETE WORKS, 1894, Vol. 1, page 273

and don't forget this!!

"Why should the people of your race be colonized, and where? Why should they leave this country? This is, perhaps, the first question for proper consideration. You and we are different races. We have between us a broader difference than exists between almost any other two races. Whether it is right or wrong I need not discuss, but this physical difference is a great disadvantage to us both, as I think your race suffer very greatly, many of them by living among us, while ours suffer from your presence. In a word, we suffer on each side. If this be admitted, it affords a reason at least why we should be separated. It is better for both, therefore, to be separated."— Spoken at the White House to a group of black community leaders, August 14th, 1862, from COLLECTED WORKS OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN, Vol 5, page 371

oh, yooooooooooooooou! you were truly a great man of words.

that's what's makes, to me, Obama's use of your bible all the more poignant for me and many of the people i know! and the idea of him giving his speech under the watchful (outraged?) gaze of your memorial statue.

so happy birthday and thanks, Great Emancipator. we really couldn't have done it without you!

It's Miley!!!!!

It's Racist!!!!!

And Electing a Moron has the Exact Opposite Effect.

"Researchers from three major universities have released preliminary findings of a study that suggests that Obama’s rise to the presidency has already improved the abilities of black test-takers."

man, pretty soon all the black choolrin will start expecting to not go to jail, either...and florida evans said there was no such thing as black jesus!

Stay Tuned for a Surprise Paternity Test for his Girlfriend From Middle School!!!

the other day i overheard a conversation about the controversial art installations The Assassination of Barack Obama and The Assassination of Hillary Clinton by artist Yazmany Arboleda. the conversation centered around the outrage that someone would create what was supposed to be a work of art around racist and sexist images and words, using images of Obama and his children. particular outrage was expressed at his usage of that rhesus monkey don imus' words "nappy-headed hoes" with a photo of Malia and Sasha.

when the controversy first ignited, i went to the websites and looked at the installations. what struck me about them was the fact that the artist did not create these words; he used words which have already appeared in various forms of media and juxtaposed them with photos of the Obamas and Clintons. the outrage felt by the photos of Malia and Sasha should match the outrage we should all have felt when imus referred to the Rutgers girls in that way: they are someone's daughters too. and when that attack came out of nowhere against them, i'm sure they felt vulnerable, frightened, disoriented, and hated. as one must feel in the midst of an assassination attempt.

in my opinion, the point of the works is to show us that these words, actions, and commodification have the intent of stealing something from their targets; diminishing them, making them less, in a cowardly attack which seems to come out of nowhere.

since President Obama took office, i have been wrestling with how his image and that of the first family has been treated by the media. i've grown tired of the dancing Obama skits, of impersonators dancing to "single ladies" on ET, stories about how he's dressed, backhanded comments regarding his middle name...but CNN this morning took it to a whole other level:

the front page of cnn.com reported...because this is very important news....

Obama's Half-Brother Arrested on Charge of Marijuana Possession

now, knowing what we know about President Obama and his kenyan family, why exactly is this news? cnn themselves report:

"In his memoir, 'Dreams from My Father,' Barack Obama describes meeting George as a 'painful affair.' Barack Obama's trip to Kenya meant meeting family he had never known.

"The two men share the same Kenyan father. In the memoir, Barack Obama struggles to reconcile with his father after he left him and his mother when he was just a child.

"Barack Obama Sr. died in a car accident when George was just 6 months old. Like his half brother, George hardly knew his father.

"George was his father's last child and had not been aware of his famous half brother until he rose to prominence in the Democratic primaries last year."

i believe the same possessiveness and protectiveness which the people discussing the art installations felt is the same which i feel right now. understanding what it's like being black in america makes you aware of certain realities. one of those realities is that in the minds of many, you are already indicted: from that point on, it's just a matter of finding the corroborating evidence of guilt.

it's why we get followed around in stores, pulled over by police more often, looked upon with suspicion on the streets, accused of assault because we had the poor form to defend ourselves and demand respect.

it makes me pretty angry to see this happening to this President and the subjective media not even having the self-awareness to avoid it. but i think it answers the question posed a few weeks back by the same news organization: is the election of Barack Obama the realization of Dr. King's dream?

nope. not even close.

wake up call!!

one of my cousins once told me that if a person tries to tell you something about themselves, you should believe them. don't waste time trying to talk someone out of it, if they tell you they are bad news, take their word for it! they're not trying to be modest, they telling you what you're in for!

which brings us to this poor, misguided soul right here: christina raines, future victim...er.....wife of mr. drew "marriage is murder" peterson. read this garbage right HERE!

Peterson, 55, a former Bolingbrook cop, said he's eager to marry Raines, 24, even though he understands why her relatives may not be thrilled with the idea. "I will acknowledge 100 percent that I would have concerns if I were the friends and family of this young girl!"

well thank the LORD he isn't one of her friends or family members....what, what??

man, i hope she watches peterson's interview on nightline and changes her mind about some stuff, because he is trying to tell her something important!! otherwise, see you in the news, miss raines.

UPDATE: turns out she watched peterson's interview on nightline and changed her mind about some stuff!!! martin bashir just saved your life, halleluyer!

and they drove a black car with a black dog in the backseat!!!

gloria d. mosovich, a landlord in buffalo, recently had her ass handed to her in court because she violated fair housing law. and yet, despite evidence which proved that she's rather lie like a bitch than rent to an african american, she came away from the judgement with this statement:

“Now come on. Was that fair? Now where did I discriminate? The people I rented it to are African- American. Now will you please tell me where I discriminated?” said mosovich.

well, let me break it down for you, miss mosovich:

after the case against you was opened, the fair housing center decided to test you to see if you'd again do what you'd been accused of...AND YOU DID. you told the black testers that the apartment wasn't available but then told the white tester that it was.

your performance in the test completely contradicts your defense that the reason you told the nice black girl the apartment wasn't available was because you had just rented the apartment 2 days prior to someone else. because if the apartment had really really been rented, you wouldn't have offered it to the white tester, now would you?

but, you argue, you rented the apartment to an african american family! how did you discriminate?

because you told someone an apartment wasn't available for rent when it clearly was. otherwise, you wouldn't have offered it to the white tester. and at the last second choosing to rent to a black family doesn't fool anyone or change those facts.

i hope this clears things up for you. and i'm glad to hear you'll be writing a couple of good sized checks to make up for your violation of the housing law. and even if you don't want to admit it to the press or to the girl who you denied an apartment to...deep down inside, you can agree that you'll never make this particular mistake again, right?

a question begs a question begs a question:

me: i feel like i'm in a rut. can you suggest something that i can do to bring some pizazz into my life?

he: did you not know this was going to happen when you had kids?

me (inside voice): couldn't your mother have just had an abortion and spared us all??