My Soul Just Died a Death of One Thousand Cuts

or Gone With the Wind, Part III: Fly Butterfly, FLY!

ps.

Radar wants his shirt back.

What is WRONG with these people???

south carolina. YOU again with your ol' bullshit....

At a recent town hall meeting, South Carolina's Lieutenant Governor Andre Bauer criticized the children of poor families, using an impressively dehumanizing metaphor and flunking basic causality in the process.

Bauer, who is running for the Republican nomination for governor, made his remarks during a town hall meeting in Fountain Inn that included state lawmakers and about 115 residents.

"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better," Bauer said.

In South Carolina, 58 percent of students participate in the free and reduced-price lunch program. (Source)

 
as you can see, Andre has extensive personal experience with poverty.
 
now, Andre has taken it upon himself to respond to the criticism regarding his comments by stating this on his personal blog:
 
My suggestion to require parents of children who receive free lunches to attend parent-teacher conferences is simply a common-sense idea to help break the cycle of dependency, while at the same time providing a better education and a brighter future for the children affected.
 
Requiring drug testing for adults receiving tax-funded benefits is also just good, plain, common-sense.

Yes, I am speaking out for such requirements, even though they may be “politically incorrect” in the eyes of the news media. It’s better for the children, it’s better for the taxpayers, and, in the end, offering a hand up instead of a hand out will be better for those who have become taxpayer dependents.

Americans are a compassionate people who will always help their brothers who are truly in need. But we cannot and will not allow those who are simply “riding the system” to continue to do so without consequence.

but what of the feeding stray animals only causing them to breed comment? no mention on his blog.

i'm so over this whole idea that the solution to poverty is for people to decide to stop being poor. but i must admit the whole "maybe we should refuse to feed them, then they'll be too weak to fuck" argument is a new one to me.

i can only imagine what his next suggestion might be....

just when i thought this guy was alright by me, based on his "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW" response to the Luv Guv clandestine trips abroad to be with his soulmate, he goes and proves that above all: he's a South Carolinian...and they are stupid.

i'm not kidding that i'm about sick of this state, man. if it's not for the drivers acting like assholes on I-77, it's the politishuns acting like assholes in DC.

i woulder if YaVaughnie would be willing to drop a few thou on some billboards telling them to STFU?

Act like a monkey, think like a jackal

this morning on the steve harvey morning show, a woman wrote in for advice in her love life. she stated she'd been raped by a childhood friend and was slowly but surely piecing her life back together. she wanted to know if, now that she's met a young man she fancies, it was necessary to tell him about her rape history.

i missed the specific response to the question but i did here mr. steve harvey "keeping it real" with regards to child rapists.

basically, any man can get sex from a willing adult female for $20. why would he have to take it, especially from a 5 year old.

yes, yes, that's right, the dude who made a kajillion dollars recently giving relationship advice, who has been on Oprah and other talk shows telling womens about ourselves, has the solution to the rape of girl children:

the sexual exploitation of desperate adult women.

because believe me, a woman who is having sex with strangers for $20 is desperate, broken,....and very likely a survivor of childhood sexual trauma.

shet up, steve harvey. leave the theorizing on the reasons behind and solutions to childhood rape to people who already know it's not about sex.

stick with what you know: cosmetic dentistry and love handles.

Public Service Announcement

i've had it. i have had it with poeple doing crazy shit trying to be edgy. so today, i'm taking it upon myself to institute a new rule! i hereby decree that as of today, beautiful people are not allowed to get their faces tattooed anymore. if you are Merkin, and it is not part of your majority- or sub-culture to tattoo your face, then back away from the ink!

some classic examples of beauty gone wrong?

Danger....C'mon, Danger! why in the hell did you get a tiger on your face?! You're lucky your VH1 nickname wasn't Olde English.

Devante, this is no okay! aside from the scribble on your temple, your face is a screaming testament to the ills of cheap drugs and fast women. nigro, how OLD are you now? how did you manage to age 7 years to every 1 year in everyone else's life!

you were hotness, Devante. and i was in love with you from 1992 until roughly 1996. i even overlooked Dalvin looking like a malnurished skeevy version of you.

Mike Tyson?
you are GOOD. get as many tattoos on your face as you want. no loss. believe me.

but you DEFINITELY went too far, Little Six Hair Baby. too far...

tried and tried and tried to tell ya.

this is a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. in black face. and body. i don't even have to do any research to asSURE you, she didn't mean it in an offensive way, is mortified that anyone would be offended, and sincerely apologizes to all those hypersensitive enough to catch a chip offended by her innocent actions. 

SHE JUST WANTED TO BE LIL' WAYNE, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT!!!!!

Instant Karma

the old folks like to say "God don't like ugly."

here's what that looks like in action....

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

cockadoodle-dont

ever had an experience where you tried out a new look and thought you were bringing down the house with your glitz and glam, only to later find out that even though people told you that you looked fabulous, in actuality, they thought you looked like dookie?

this is what that experience looks like:






*sigh*

What's WRONG with these people?

being black trumps being an insect.

Michael Steele, my friend warned me about you.

i have a good friend from Maryland who told me months ago, while discussing Michael Steele, that that dude is a boot-licking uncle Tom bastard. I'm paraphrasing, but you catch her drift....

i have friends of different races. i have even been accused, tried, and convicted of liking "white music," and will admit that i have kissed the lips of the Caucasian male and lived to tell the tale!

but one of the things that stick in my craw is the black person who loves their white friends to the point where they feel like they have to start making racist jokes to fit in. it not only begs the question of where is the self-love and self-respect, but also....

why don't you have better quality white friends?

CHECK out this coon right here!

"Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele told a group of young Republicans that he would reach out to black voters by offering them fried chicken and potato salad. Asked by a blogger how he would reach out to "diverse populations," Steele said: "My plan is to say 'Y'all come,' because a lot of you are already here." After someone in the audience said, 'I'll bring the collard greens,' Steele added, 'I got the fried chicken and potato salad."'

because ya see, black folks are so easily swayed and unthinking, we can have our entire political ideology shifted by fried chicken, collard greens, and potato salad.

that's how the GOP got Steele. well, that and they gave him a white girl.

oh, yes you are.

why is it that racists are always trying to hedge and say they're not racist while saying something clearly racist?

i am convicted [and throw away the key]

the other evening, i found myself watching a tv show on mtv called Is She Really Going Out with Him, a *reality* show based on a website. i thought it would be harmless fun, watching this show. i thought "let's see another girl who is obviously way too good with a dude who is deluded enough to believe he's the one with the higher relationship stock.

but what i got for my efforts, friends, was convicted. for you see, the douchebag on this episode bears an uncanny and horrifying resemblance TO ONE OF MY DOUCHEBAG EX-BOYFRIENDS!!!

god help me, it's true. take away the spikes and replaces with a giant curly afro and you have the fellow with whom i wasted several months of my life.

my kentucky buddies know EXACTLY WHO I TALKING ABOUT. but why didn't you tell me????

Is She Really Going Out With Him? - MTV Shows

negative 200 points for having eyebrows like a chola.

"you're scaring me!"

a scene from a relationship in which the woman is transitioning her hair from relaxed to natural...

he (sarcastically): i like that afro you got going on right there.

me: then you're really gonna love it when i cut my hair off and wear a small afro for real.

he: for REAL??

me: for real.

he: .....baby, remember a few years ago when we talked about you getting a weave? why don't you do that? just so, you know....we see what it looks like?

just stop talking. forever.

dear post secret poster:

you have clearly never had anyone you care about suffer with cancer. i hope you never do. but i feel that i must let you know something very important.

cancer does not exist to make your kitchen cute, you self-centered fuck.

that is all.

What's WRONG with these People??

you know what i hate? i hate it when you find out about a terrible deed committed by another person, tell someone else, and then realize that makes YOU the horrible person. you know, like when you find out your neighbor has been beating his child with his dog, and you call the proper authorities, and then someone stands on your lawn screaming that you must really really hate dogs and kids, otherwise why did you tell! hater!

what's that? you say that makes no sense? weeeeeeeeeeeeelll, it does if you're MARY CHENEY!



In an interview on Fox News, the daughter of Vice President Dick Cheney sharply criticized the new administration for agreeing to release photographs depicting alleged abuses at U.S. prisons in Iraq and Afghanistan during the Bush administration.

"I think it is really appalling that the administration is taking this step," she said in the interview. "Clearly what they are doing is releasing images that show American military men and woman in a very negative light."

"I have heard from families of service members from families of 9/11 victims this question about when did it become so fashionable for us to side, really, with the terrorists," she continued.
(CNN)

mary cheney believes that by releasing photos of abuses by the US, the current administration is siding with terrorists. because that's showing the world that we...like to torture people...too?

is it siding with terrorists because it's showing a sense of simpatico because the methods of torture are so similar?

or is it just siding with torture because it is once again highlighting what it is about the administration of Dubya and Satan that makes people try to throw shoes at them during press conferences?

i think i see what side of the street mary's standing on. but can someone tell her that the rhetoric she's using is so dated, it's laughable? mary, really? "siding with terrorist," for real??

you know all is lost when you get chopped by Fergie:

i'm so 3000 and 8/
you're so 2000 and late.

If he just went ahead and kissed a boy, i bet he'd like it.

let's take a moment to consider 1) american idol, 2) simon cowell, and 3) rock bottom.

american idol brought it's usual freak show to the airwaves this past week. along with the obligatory horrible singers, we now have a new bitchy judge, and paula going from spaceball to slightly less popular mean girl who only talks shit if she's sure she's got backup, and who then runs to the bathroom to throw up her lunch.

yeah, paula has become Heather Duke....

and of course we have simon's usual stale gay jokes.

simon is one of those guys that always seems to take it there: no matter what the topic of discussion, he's gonna bring it back around to dudes kissing dudes on the pee-pee. and i thought the word was out on this type of behavior, but apparently not. therefore, let me break it down like a scene from Yo Gabba Gabba:

when a seemingly straight man constantly cracks on gay men, it is because he secretly wants to kiss a gay man because he is secretly a gay man. those of us comfortable in our sexuality know this, and these sad fools are not tricking anyone.

i know a guy who constantly talks about the "gay guys" at his gym who want to sleep with him and yet he is constantly walking around buck-ass-naked around these same men. and yeah, i understand that's what happens in locker rooms, but on the treadmill?? a.little.much.

but i digress...

so here is simon, seeing a male contestant coming into the room, thinking "i'd like to kiss his pee-pee...maybe he'd like to kiss my pee-pee?....wait a minute, i can't want that, i have to like women otherwise my mother will never forgive me...must throw everyone off the trail while my erection shrinks...HE'S GAY...MUST RIDICULE HIM...breastsbreastsbreastsbreasts!"

or some shit.

but as i've stated, it's the oldest trick in the book (second oldest?) and it fools absolutely no one. which brings us to rock bottom:

“In my opinion, Simon Cowell is the biggest queen on TV. To me, he gives off a ‘bi/gay’ vibe and tends to carry on with bitchy, campy commentary. I know a lot of gay men and Simon seems to me like a ‘gay wannabe.’” - Randy Jones, the cowboy from The Village People.

now, listen: when you get called out by a member of the village people, you just need to go ahead and kiss a boy on the mouth, because now it's just embarrassing.

so here's to you, simon: go on ahead and kiss a boy! it's really great, i highly recommend it! but don't let it be ryan...i heard that bitch has lip herpes.