Drag Her to Hell.

i'm making a conscious decision.

i am aware that the media has been forcing the Bad Black Mother stories down our throats, per usual, and this is yet another example of a black woman behaving badly.

i am aware that horrible things happen to innocent children every day.

yet, i've decided to tell this story anyway. Why? because this bitch is crazy and somebody needs to lock her away in a tiny room by herself for a very loooooooong, looooooooooong time.

New York (CNN) -- Prosecutors in Brooklyn have charged a 38-year-old woman with tricking a pregnant woman into taking an abortion-inducing drug because the suspect thought her husband had fathered the child with the other woman.

And after the baby was born two months premature, but survived, someone tried unsuccessfully to slip a toxic substance through hospital security to the infant in the guise of milk for the baby, according to prosecutors.

The suspect, Kisha Jones, allegedly went to great lengths to end the pregnancy of 25-year-old Monique Hunter, according to a complaint filed by the Brooklyn district attorney's office in an ongoing investigation that began over a month ago.

Jones is in jail facing multiple charges, including attempted abortion and assault, according to authorities.

my anger with Sheniya Davis' mother is still sitting like a burning rock in my chest, now this heffa over here is trying to murder a baby because she thought her "man" was the father. luckily, despite her best efforts, the child has not been killed.

now, happily, she's going to end up going to prison where there are no damn men.

fitting.

some of us women need to get ourself under control and quit acting like dick-crazed lunatics whose end all be all is some worthless dude who is more interested in his ho-shit than being a good man.

....in my loudly expressed opinion.

between women selling their kids into sexual slavery, allowing their children to be molested and raped by known perpetrators, taking sides with men over their kids when accusations fly, acting like victims when it comes out that the married men (with children) they've been sleeping with have hoes in different area codes....i'm just over it all right now.

ladies, we have got to do better.

i hate you.

Dear Motorola Q:

if you had guts, i would hate them with the fires of 1000 hells.

if you had a soul, i would put a curse on it, damning it for all eternity.

if you had friends, i'd tell them all you stole all their money and gave their moms clamydia.

if you had bones, i'd pay someone to break the ones in your legs with a lead pipe.

i'm leaving you and i'm not coming back.

my ex was so much better than you that i honestly can't even remember why i chose you!!!

drop dead, you battery life sucking, non-qwerty working, bluetooth dropping piece of antiquated crap!

and take that bitch ass charger with you!!!

A Pimp Called Govnah Sanford: Part II

awwww, yeah! a pimp is back and his pimp game is still proper!

look at what this slick tongued devil did NOW!

LONDON, July 23 (UPI) -- South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and his wife and children arrived in London Thursday for a two-week vacation, a Sanford spokesman said.

Spokesman Joel Sawyer said the vacation was planned before Sanford's admission he had an affair. The family is to return August 5.

It is the Republican governor's third trip out of the state since admitting to an affair in June, Politico reported.

"It's not unusual for the governor to take some time away in the summer with his family," Sawyer said. "He will be in contact with other state officials and staff throughout the trip, and will continue conducting the business of the state."

Sanford and his wife, Jenny, said they are trying to heal their marriage after the affair the governor admitted this summer.

"I've apologized for that mistake," Sanford said of the affair. "I've said all I'm going to say on that one. Life and the choices that we make begin each day anew."

i think it's pretty clear at this point that the people who voted in SC (yes, still all 19 of them) actually got saddled with Uncle Traveling Matt.

the sanfords are wack

just when i thought the clusterfuck that is mark sanford imploding and basically sending love note missives to his maria in arhentina through hastily assembled press conferences couldn't get any more clusterfucky, now the one person i was hoping had a grasp on reality has let it be known that she too is a total loontard.

Picture it, South Carolina, 2009....your husband sneaks out of the state for 5 days, flies to Arhentina to visit his mistress, then comes back and tells everyone with a microphone the mistress is his soul mate but he's gonna try to fall back in love with you, refers to his affair as a love story at the end of the day, tells everyone how he even tried to get you to meet the mistress once or twice or eight times, and then further puts your business on the street by admitting there were other women floating through your marriage of 20 years.

so what do you? well if you're jenny sanford, you say something cuhrazy like this:

"Mark has stated that his intent and determination is to save our marriage, and to make amends to the people of South Carolina. I hope he can make good on those intentions, and for the sake of our boys."

ya hearing this? he SAID it's his intention of saving the marriage...even though he lied about his whereabouts over father's day weekend to fly to south america to kick it with maria belen. AND AFTER HE WAS EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN TO DO IT, THAT CAD!

well there ya go, that's got sincerity written all over it.

Jenny Sanford: going from American Hero to typical politician doormat in 1 easy step.

us, weakly...

foolishly, in my thirst for celebrity gossip, i have allowed Us Weekly access to my email address. this makes it possible for me to receive breaking news from one of the industry's most reliable journalistic sources. without these emails, how else would i know that Jen and Brad recently met up for a 1 am hotel meeting, Ashley Simpson is still a moron, and Madonna's cashier's check was accepted for the purchase i mean adoption of little Mercy?

but mostly, Us Weekly helps me keep track of The Bickersons. you know: Jon & Kate Plus I Hate Your Stinkin Lying Cheating Bitchy Guts.

today's THIRD email (really, Us Weekly? 3?) shared this tidbit with me:



well, whattaya know! it's Jon & Kate's 10th anniversary! but they're still battling marriage problems! AND new cheating allegations! gosh, it's really tough to tell whether the two will be celebrating...

UNLESS YOU LOOK IN THE CENTER OF THE PAGE where Us Weekly helpfully puts us out of our misery by telling us that Jon & Kate Celebrate 10th Anniversary Today! and the magazine gets the ball rolling on that celebration by showing us pics of the happy couple unhappily separated this spring! that's JUST as romantic a gift as aluminum or tin!

as you can tell at the bottom left of the page, Kate appears to be absolutely shocked that it's been ten years already! i hope she's not worried about how she and Jon are gonna celebrate their one score together....



well. apparently, she's getting the party started by murdering one of their kids. JUST as romantic as aluminum or tin!

thanks, Us Weekly. your helpful emails have managed to help me waste more hours on the job than the squiggle haired boss from Dilbert.

"you're scaring me!"

a scene from a relationship in which the woman is transitioning her hair from relaxed to natural...

he (sarcastically): i like that afro you got going on right there.

me: then you're really gonna love it when i cut my hair off and wear a small afro for real.

he: for REAL??

me: for real.

he: .....baby, remember a few years ago when we talked about you getting a weave? why don't you do that? just so, you know....we see what it looks like?

Why so crazy, man?

haysoos on a saltine cracker, people are crazy as hell!! why can't people just be okay with the break-up??

VICTORVILLE, Calif. - Prosecutors say a spurned lover ambushed his ex-girlfriend and tried to cut out the breast implants he paid for by stabbing her.
San Bernardino County prosecutor David Foy says 28-year-old Thomas Lee Rowley attacked his ex in July 2006 outside her mother's home in Hesperia, some 70 miles northeast of Los Angeles in the Mojave Desert.
Rowley is on trial in Superior Court in Victorville for attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, stalking, burglary, and false imprisonment.
The 26-year-old woman survived six stab wounds and the punctured breast implants were repaired.
Rowley's former roommate Dennis McGill testified this week that the defendant wanted to reclaim what was rightfully his. Rowley allegedly told McGill, "I'm gonna cut 'em out and get em back."

this story has inspired me to come up with a new line of personal safety/defense items for women. Behold, i bring to you:


THE BOOBINATOR

Facebook: the last and final straw

recognizing that domestic violence is never ever something to joke about*, i am pretty amazed at some of the things that finally set people off. in this particular instance, it was the fact that his estranged wife changed her facebook relationship status to single...

do you reckon he didn't know until then??

*unless of course, i'm telling you the always humorous story about the beatdown i administered to a certain someone who failed to feed my cat after i'd been away on a week long business trip.