horror movie fans! listen up!!

there’s a horror movie that’s gonna come out later called The Sacred. Looks very scaaaaaaaary.

also, i finally saw commercials for one movie I heard about a few months ago called Drag Me To Hell. i noticed they picked the least wack parts of the trailer to make the commercial.

DO NOT BE TRICKED!! THE TRAILER IS HORRIBLE!!

and besides, Derry the Mac Guy is the boyfriend. he ain’t no good! he always makes that same, Disney movie expression of shock. that ain’t emoting, Derry.

that is all.

ask and you shall get something close.

i put it out there on friday that i wanted an ice cream cone cupcake for mother's day. what i found myself enjoying this afternoon was red velvet flavored ice cream in a chocolate dipped waffle cone.

this ice cream flavor was so amazing, it literally tasted just like a slice of red velvet cake. maggie moo is one creative cow.

and the best part was i enjoyed my ice cream without the stomach ache. yes, even my lactose hating guts gave me a break today.

mother's day weekend has been pretty banner.

oh, i don't know, Michael. maybe it IS ok.

especially if the soundtrack to your horrifying moment in modern adolescence happens to be played by a cat wearing a blue dress.

yeap...totally worth it.

i know what i want for mother's day!

oh, man......

Today's Moment in Deliciousness with a side order of unfortunate coincidence....

david beckham, looking like hotness incarnate wearing a tshirt bearing a picture of a somewhat familiar fellow...why does that guy so familiar?

oh. well. dang.

i left work early, stood in line 4 hours, and got a raincheck for THIS?

do you really think oprah would eat this crap? her richie-rich tastebuds would run screaming from her big rich head at the mere notion.

THIS is supposed to be kfc's healthier chicken. see? it's not fried, it's grilled. er...gried? and don't those "chargrilled" marks look like what the demon scratched out on the little girl's stomach in The Exorcist?

why must the proletariat always eat crap?!

simple lessons for navigating a complex world

watching my kids grow is all at once and amazing, terrifying, exciting, disheartening experience. i'm amazed and excited about the milestones they reach and yet it leaves a nasty little pang in my chest when i realize those same milestones are moving them inch by inch away from me.

i mean, it feels like i am going to blink and find myself going to high school graduations! blink again, and i'm going to college graduations. again, and i'm saying goodbye at the airport as they relocate. blink one more time and i'm moving in with one of them and showing up unannounced on the other's job because i can't STAND BEING THAT FAR AWAY FROM MY CHILDREN!!!....but i digress.

tonight has been quite an adventure in Life Behind the Eyes of a toddler. having learned some valuable lessons, i feel much more prepared to handle the world tomorrow morning. thought i'd share:

1) BBQ sauce does not make it all better: if it's gross, it's gross. trying to smother the gross in bbq sauce does not make it more palatable. it's still gross but now it's also weird.

2) Try It, You Might Surprise Yourself: after bath time this evening, as i was drying Dixie off, Trixie walked over to the door, opened it, and sprinted down the hallway! up until that point, did i know she could open doors? no. did she? probably not. did that stop her from trying? hell to the no. and what was her reward? sweet butt nekkit success!

3) Cry It Out: emotions are cruel and capricious masters and sometimes the mere act of holding them all in check can be exhausting. it you feel the need to blow off some steam by letting loose with a full-throated, lung-rattling, blood-curdling crying jag, then by all means have at it. the consoling hugs and kisses you receive during your meltdown are awesome and you just can't help but feel better in the end.

4) Life Really is Like a Song: you ever noticed how much music we hear during the course of an average day? no? well, a toddler does. and what does this awareness of music lead to? impromptu dance recitals. be very serious about your performance and snap your fingers to the beat. you know your cell phone ringer is the jam, that's why you picked it.

5) Fake It Til You Make It: have something to say but you're unsure of the pronunciation? try to say it anyway; if you don't make mistakes you ain't gonna learn. and what's the point of getting embarrassed by mistakes? no one is perfect, duh.

so theses are just a few of the gems of wisdom passed up to me from my chaps. theses kids are quite learned for such young ladies. i can't wait to find out what they're going to teach me by this time next year.